Soo... Let me get this straight... My boss reeeeeeally wants me to reconfigure our database system to sync data between each of our 15 sites... Let me this about this...

Our database is an MS Access database originally written about 17 years ago. It was written as a standalone database that runs a unique instance for each of our sites.The person responsible for the database (still not the original developer) before I took over 6 years ago bragged about how they were "an 80s developer" (w...t...f!). Even with all of the fixes and additions (additions because... F&$#ing of course there are!) It's still basically held together by duct tape and spit.

Hmmm... Ok, still possible. What's the environment I'm working in... I have absolutely ZERO control of our workplace network... That's a whole other department. Due to the nature of the workplace (and it's sites) there is extreme limitation on network access.

Well... If I'm Reeeeeeally nice to the people in charge of the network, maaaaaybe they can give me access to a little server space.

A very long shot, but, doab.... Oh, the boss would really like this handled in the next couple months...

F$#k you! There is no way on God's (still) green earth that I... Alone... Can rewrite a legacy database... written across 4 or 5 different versions of FU$KING MS Access, and give 15 sites, with extremely limited networking, real time data sync in... Oh, a few months.

Now, I do not work with "computer people". I'm usually lucky when my coworkers remember their passwords (which, even if they don't, WHY tell ME! I don't run the network!)

And when I tell my boss basically what I just said... In a nice, pleasant way... They suggest I'm not giving the problem enough thought...

FU#K YOU IGNORANT ASS! Write me a ToDo list in MS Access (no, I'm not going to tell you where to start) in under an hour then, MAYBE, we can talk about... No... Just NO... Can't be done!

*Takes deep breath* so... Lovely weather we're having, right?

  • 2
    Throw the access DB out the window and start over, right? Right?
    Oh maybe migrate the data to a new shiny database. What, data inconsistencies you say? No problem, let's somehow write ugly code to deal with that. While you developed a solution for every problem that occurred on the way, people have used the old database so you basically have to sync that somehow.
    When all is finished: congratulations, your dB-landscape is as fucked up as before but at least you are no longer using access (mostly) and management hates you because it took you about 25 times as long as they told you it would take you in the first meeting. And the old solution was working, wasn't it? If it ain't broken, don't fix it.
    Gotta love such projects and clients. Stay strong!
    I'm completely with you regarding the weather, it was quite nice today.
  • 1
    I worked in access in the past. Not used for a number of years but I assume it is just as bad as ever. I suggest you take this opportunity to make a plan on how to migrate to modern technology.

    You might find performance is ok with a central sql database (ie. not access back-end) with the current access ui. Then start rewriting parts of the application using a different technology.

    Or just rewrite it all from scratch..

    Of course either way this is no small project but people do like timelines. Find out where the 3 month requirement came from. Even though it is probably not going to be enough you can quote on time to get a prototype up and running. No doubt that will be less than three months. Then after that you will be able to quote on the time to get a single site migrated with a limited selection of the current functionality.

    If it turns out the 3 months is mandatory at least if you made a plan then it is not your fault if there are not the resources to implement it.
  • 0
    @spacem the time frame isn't mandatory. Realistically, as the sole person who codes, and maintains the set of databases, my bosses have little choice but to take my word as to it's limitations and the complications involved when modifying it.

    Thankfully, most of them also respect me enough to know I don't bullshit them about these complications, and, in turn, I always try to see if there are things I can do to meet their goals...

    Still, though, there's always those times when they seriously seem to say "we need magic. You can do magic. Do the magic as soon as possible."

    *Let sigh*
Add Comment