15

Anyone else here with anxieties, depression or what-not? I feel this could get heavy, but I feel this is the only place I could write this. So...

My 18-month-long programming course is slowly coming to an end. Time has come for us to be sent out to job interviews at various companies.
Every single time an interview comes up, I feel the exact same mix of my inconfidence, constant anxiety, "I'm gonna throw up", impatience and whatever else is there in my head. I figured it would get easier with each consecutive interview but it hasn't.
The questions they ask make me sick. The atmosphere is unfathomable. Robots are more humane.

- Why do you want to work with us?
I need money for my meds and something to down them with? I willingly put myself through this shit to become a corporate slave, what else is there to say? I can only hope I'll be writing any code here.

- Where do you see yourself in 2-3 years?
Far away from anything remotely related to an HR department of any sort?

- Had you been a fruit, which one would you be? Whatever would come out of my tears blended with semen? What the fuck is even that question?

Of course those aren't my actual responses, but conjuring the IRL ones to finish the process is a serious burden. And those are only some HR ones. After this barrage of questions they want my lifeless, flaccid body to write code. I mean ok, it's a software dev gig, but I already gave all I had on self-clairvoyance.

We'll be in touch!

Is there a strategy you guys have when you go to an interview? Any tips for taming the acrid beast running around in your brain? Is it too much to talk with a human in a humane language without "15 buzzwords to make the recruiter moist"?

Comments
  • 5
    Where do ya see yourself in 2-3 years?
    Dead
    Why?
    DPRK's nuclear, dont ask that question
  • 1
    Contracts you got interviews. I've been sent out bunch of resumes but no response. I wanna answer those questions, give me interviews please.
  • 6
    You're not alone. A lot of us suffer from depression and I'd say likely the majority of us hate recruiters, and the whole corporate facade for that matter.
  • 2
    Yeah don't worry, interviews are the worse, hr often get a rush out of their power and the interviewing engineers can be equally arrogant. Yet at the same the industry complains all the time how hard it is to find talent.
    The good side is once you are in you generally don't have to deal with hr and are working with a bunch of engineers in the same position as you so the camaraderie is good and you can help each other out/ go for beers.
  • 2
    When I was young I was diagnosed with high functioning anxiety, biopolar depression, OCD, and when I was a little older substance abuse took over and I developed “substance induced psychosis”. Although I usually don’t speak openly about the things that go on daily, I’ve always wanted to help anyone in any way I can. If there is anything I can do even in the slightest to make things a little easier for you, don’t hesitate to reach out. That goes for any of you here.

    Many feel like they are alone, but I promise you’re not.

    They’d be lucky to have you on their team, any of them. I know it’s easier said than done but look at yourself every day and tell yourself that. Take deep breaths and walk in there and own it. That job is yours, you deserve it.

    It sucks being a cog in the machine... but take it day by day. If one door closes, don’t dwell on it. Simply raise your middle finger and scream “fuck you.” That door wasn’t meant to open and that’s alright, another door will though and you’ll be glad the others never did.

    You’ve got this, we here at devRant believe in you. And I mean it, don’t hesitate to reach out. Although certain things may come up I can promise I will reply as soon as I can.
Add Comment