Disclaimer, this is not anything close to being dev-related but fuck it, I'm about to puke because this situation's really bizarre.

A close friend of mine is being publicly accused of physical and mental abuse by his ex-girlfriend. For simplicity I'll call him B and her Z.

I've been friends with Z since we met at school, around 10 years ago. She has always had emotional problems, mainly due to her mothers bipolarity. As a friend I tried to somehow help her but it was really difficult given her situation.

Fast-foward some time, most of our group get into the same university. There we meet B, he was classmates with my best friend so we got to be close friends. We spent entire nights eating pizza, playing sm4sh and talking about life. After some time, they (Z and B) start dating each other. They made a really good couple, B was very supportive with all of Z's problems and I really thought everything was going to be fine.

A year and a half passed and the relationship naturally weared down. B couldn't keep handling with Zs personal problems and Z was fed up with Bs insensibility. What do I refer with insensibility? Well, for starters he had a well developed black humour. He'd make jokes like "You should learn to cook to feed me" or "Your hairstyle looks like Princess leia, etc". I do understand why in the end they would end up. She had really deep issues. For example, since we were 12 she's had recurrent panic attacks. They are no joke. The problem is that she would fake them from time to time only in order to make any argument go her way. This isn't something we suspected, she has confessed this several times to some of us in my group. She did this constantly with B. B came from a "traditional" mysoginist family, so, even though I wouldn't say B is sexist, he at least has made some mysoginist statements. Both of them weren't happy with each other and it was fine, they just had to break up.

After some shitty moves from Z after breaking up, both Z and B continued a simple life... until B decided to get into our university politics. Z HATED the party B got into. It was a movement made with the only purpose of making fun of university politics, highlighting the cynical stances of some leaders and making Jojo's poses. Yesterday Z called my best friend in a coloquial manner talking about that time B said he got into an argument with his mom and "hit her to the ground only to continue hitting her", asking to send it on a whatsapp voice message (WTF). Needless to say, he told us one day that his mom slapped him really hard so he locked himself in his room. So my best friend naturally told her he didn't remember anything like that. Almost inmediately, B got notified by some members of his party that there was a demand of abuse against him in the federation of students. Then Z posted a public facebook post in which she "admited" to have been both physicaly and mentally abused by B. I understand why there could be no proofs, but the story she told was full of BIG lies I know because I was in some of those situations. Here are some:

-His mental abuse caused her panic attacks for the first time in her life. Which is false, she has been having them since little due to the extreme mental stress she has lived from having a bipolar mother.

-He "separated" her from her loved ones (including her mother). The truth is that she always hated her mother and during her relationship with B, she got a lot closer to her father and brothers.

-He was always controlling her and never leaving her alone to the point she didn't have any personal space left. Sadly this was the exact opposite. While B had exam weeks, Z wouldn't let him study, she constantly messaged him, called him and even drove to his house faking panic attacks (as she confessed to some of us).

I do think he wasn't a good boyfriend, but shit, she's trying to destroy his life here. The facebook post was and has been blown way out of proportion. It has around 700 reactions, 150 shares and it is full of hate messages and threats against B and men in general. Due to faculty protocols, B will certaintly loose all his scholarships (which accont for 6k dolars anually) and is risking being kicked out of the university. Add to that all the shit they've been throwing at him, and we have a heavily damaged individual with an acusation that only costed some messages to the "Gender secretary" of the federation and some keystrokes on facebook.

I never understood why people would say "this made me want to puke" until today. My friend's life is being destroyed only because he dated Z. I can't sleep. I can't study. I can't code. I can't play games. I guess I'm shocked.

  • 3
    Jezus, this sucks...

    Can't you fight the claim? I think it will help if you claim half of these statements is false, coming from her friend of 10 years.
  • 3
    I would be surprised of the outcome, but honestly I've seen enough examples in society to believe this story. I hope that things get better for B, he really doesn't deserve any of this
  • 3
    @enen @LMestre14 I'll totally support him in official instances but I'll refrain from joining the FB circus. That shit is a fucking shitshow.
  • 3
    @Alice maybe there are pictures of them hanging out or something? Just guessing in the blue here
  • 3
    @Alice That would be really sad. But what's even sadder is the fact that it's entirely possible she would deny our friendship just to get more support.
  • 2
    @Tobyvw Yeah, we have a ton. We as a group have been in Rapa Nui, England and a ton of birthday parties together.
  • 2
    @Alice yeah, but at some point they'd HAVE to see it from his point too right? I mean, if he has tons of holiday pictures, maybe even by the lengths of his whatsapp chatlogs with her or anything, then it must be plausible that's she is the one lying, not him.
  • 3
    @Alice Well, this blew up today, I heard it around 5 pm and haven't heard of B since friday. I do know that a friend of his from the party got him a lawyer, but I'm not sure how university protocols work in these cases. I'm wating until 8 am to ask a friend that's inside university's politics for advise and we'll gather with our group of friends at 5 to discuss the issue (the ones that haven't abandoned B yet)
  • 1
    And now you know how all politics work
  • 4
    I really think you and all the others in the situation who are aware of it should step in and help your friend B. I don't think people realise how fucked up society is and how many consequences men face because of false claims of abuse, and quite recently if you read online you will see the depth of this issue and women being jailed for long amounts of time for false rape and abuse claims.

    The sad reality is, women get more sympathy, empathy and support than men and that's the way it is but the way I see it; your friend B does not deserve to lose all of what he has for a psycho lying chick who has issues and despite having support from a person like him, is ruining his life in return.
  • 2
    This is fucked up!

    B needs to sue her as soon as possible. I think the only way to defend against this calumny campaign of hers is to have a proper investigation by law enforcement.
  • 2
    Wow, and I thought my ex made a circus.

    Well, you should stand with your friend, and take this to the law to a proper investigation, like @theCalcaholic says.
  • 2
    @theCalcaholic @Pointer yeah, hell totally sie her. We aren't sure how to do it so I'll ask for help where I can and B is trying to gather any help he can too.
  • 1
    @gitcommit Good! I wish you good luck with this.
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