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cursee171597ySo here is my π―th post. I thought about sharing a bit about myself but nahhh not ready for it yet. π So ended up writing this.
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htlr52077yIntrovert - CHECK βοΈ
Poor - CHECK βοΈ
Alone - CHECK βοΈ
Odd one out - CHECK βοΈ
Trouble Studying - CHECK βοΈ
Family Issues - CHECK βοΈ
Debts - CHECK βοΈ
Hate workspace - JOBLESS
Bad Teacher - CHECK βοΈ
Depression - CHECK βοΈ
Laziness - CHECK βοΈ
Forever alone - DOUBLE CHECK βοΈ
Struggling - CHECK βοΈ
Full of regrets - CHECK βοΈ
Lost something - CHECK βοΈ
Lost someone - CHECK βοΈ
Lost - Kinda
Godamnnit! Some please create a tinder for introvets!! -
htlr52077y@CurseMeSlowly been working in a startup, due to some internal issues founders shut it down. Tried to establish own startup and the very first client fucked everything up. Back to job hunt.
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cursee171597y@htlr ouch. As a struggling business runner myself I can literally feel your pain π all the best mate.
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Especially the 'forever alone' one is one that's bothering me.
Just seeing all the love and couples around is deffo awesome and I'm happy that so many people have someone they're together with but I just really wish I had that too.
"You'll find someone eventually" - I hear that so often but really, it's starting to eat on me. I'm still quite young and everyone tells me I shouldn't complain but what's wrong with really wanting a relationship/girlfriend?
Awesome rant :) -
cursee171597y@linuxxx nothing wrong βοΈI have a feeling that you might get one soon π maybe in 2018.
Oracle has said π -
@CurseMeSlowly Thanks haha. Nearly everyone tells me that to make me feel better but I appreciate the effort anyways!
And yup this community is awesome π -
That sense of guilt when you check out every single item on that list :’(
But I’ve somehow came to a harmony with sorrow, and I’m not one that pursues happiness, so it’s not all that bad. Regardless of what has happened, and what is yet to come, when you put on the hat of a child with the understanding that life ain’t a bed of roses, it’s still an interesting life that’s worth living for.
(Note: made 3 references here, but I don’t think people would notice, altho they are what I truly think and feel)
And it’s already been proven to be interesting to me in quite some ways, and one of them is by stumbling upon devRant :) -
For me it is bad teachers (I might write a rant about it actually because it's been insane the past few weeks)
A bit of family stuff as well because my parents don't really understand what I am doing and don't think that you can make a living out of programming. They want me to study something else.
The alone part however is the thing that I can relate the most with. You can compare it to what @linuxxx said.
I feel alone pretty often and I would really like to have a girlfriend. But that seems to be pretty difficult to achieve. I also don't use things like snapchat, Instagram or Facebook which is the main things people here use to chat or talk. I will also have WhatsApp uninstalled by 1.1.2018 which will probably make it harder.
I just hope that I will eventually find the right one. -
@404response Yeah those social media details (especially WhatsApp) are a real issue where I live as well :/
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@irene Feeling lonely in a crowd is a sensible notion, but feeling lonely with someone significant to you right there with you sounds problematic.
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@irene (γ£´ωο½)οΎ(β₯ωβ₯) There there... I feel the same most of the time, but it's not always entirely their problem. I find that most of the time, it's just me not entirely opening myself up to others and accept their warmth. My shell has become way too thick for even myself to crack it open sometimes, and I have yet to find someone that can deal with this shell of mine.
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All you people looking for girlfriends, you need to go out and meet more people (A friend gave me this advice years ago. I felt annoyed but later realised it was true)
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@jsframework9000 I have about two hours a day to spend on other things than work (except for traveling) so that's not going to happen anytime soon :'(
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@jsframework9000 Well I do but side projects keep me going so that's what I do on weekends :/
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@jsframework9000 Although I am in school everyday for most of the day I don't really meet a lot of girls except the ones I already know for years. I also live in a small village and the bus connection to the city is horrible
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@linuxxx Maybe you need to focus on your side projects for now to get it out of your system (I don't mean it in a bad way). Eventually you will want to do other things. I am the opposite right now, too lazy for side projects lol. We all need to find a balance I guess π
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@404response Don't despair friend, when you move out of the village you will meet tons of people. Try to focus on your studies for now.
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cursee171597y@jsframework9000 @404response @linuxxx
Yeah all in good time my friends. And balance in life is indeed very important π
hahaha I also know many people who have gf or gfs and always lecturing other not to get into a relationship because of all the craps they have been through π so there is that too. -
cursee171597y@irene @Japorized there there.
I am not bluffing now nor just making craps up to make you feel good.
I only have two serious relationships in my 28yo life. My first one was from 2010 to 2016. She passed away on 2016 March. I thought I would probably die alone or something. But in the end I found my current SO few months a go.
So all I wanna say is, you don't have to shut your heart just because you had lost someone. Don't have to suffer yourself. It may take time but things will get better. Yes things may turn worse too. I agree the possibilities. But let's not live with a grim one when you can also live with hope and faith.
We never know what is in for us tomorrow π -
@CurseMeSlowly I can't say what I'm going go say will be the same for @irene but I do think we're having a similar problem, and it's not necessarily that we've lost someone that we become how we are now, that there's a shell enclosing us. In my case, it's not necessary that it's deliberately made to protect myself, but to an extent, it has protected me. But that is at the cost of never being able to actually make friends that I can rely on when I'm weak, that can make me feel like I'm not alone when they're simply just there. I do have a few friends that know me very well that I can say that they're close friends, and they may or may not feel a strong connection to me, and I've been there with them through some of their toughest times,and we've even been through some together. But even they can't give me that feeling of security and warmth.
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@CurseMeSlowly They confide in me quite a bit, and they wish to reciprocate but when I do try to lay myself bare, it's either lacking, or simply too overwhelming for them to even respond aside from the typical "know that you have our support." I think I do know what I need, and I know the magic words and formulae to crack open this shell of mine, but the words and formulae will be forever rendered useless if I say it out.
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It is not the problem to think that I would be the only one trapped into this situation, feeling this way, or having these issues, it is the problem to FIND the ones who are.
With nearly no social media, with no attempts to "go out for party", with no place to share this kind of stuff, even not thinking about geographical nearness, it is impossible to search threw the sheer numbers.
There could be one who feels the exact same way you do only three houses away, but you will never know because you both stay for yourself.
Being introvert, alone, or having depressions, makes it nearly impossible to find them who are like you.
That's why it is as it is. -
@irene I did distrust people at some point, and there are those that utterly disgust me even now, but I understood that it's impossible for me to not rely on anyone, and, whether I like it or not, I am relying on people. And as I age, and the closer I am to finally get thrown into the workforce, I realize that I do need someone that I can confide in. I've made that bar really high for my confidant(e) though, mostly unconciously, given my personality and mindset.
That said, I do steer clear of toxic people and those that I have no way of handling, as much as I can anyways and in a way that it doesn't make an occasion awkward. -
cursee171597y@irene now now not all snakes bite nor not all girls lie π
We gotta take a risk every now and then. Give something to get something. π -
@irene Problem is, if you can't trust the other person, they can't help you in any way cause everything that they do for you will never be taken as sincere. While you've successfully protected yourself, you've hurt those that are actually sincere by denying their intentions, and they will eventually leave you cause why would anyone stay with someone that can never trust them regardless of how much time and effort. They're people too, and they've got their own problems, and they will find someone else that they can confide in and leave those that they cannot talk to. And thus, you would end up reinforcing your notion that people can't be trusted cause even someone that nice to you has left you. And so that downward spiral continues.
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cursee171597y@irene adamantium is a very strong metal think Captain America Shield's is made of that or something π¬
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@irene Well... I can't really tell you a way out of it, cause I'm pretty much in a similar spot and not sure how to move on. Heck, I don't even think I know how to trust someone. I think I'll still try regardless, even if I'm hurt a million times, so long that it ain't critical to my survivial. Maybe one day I might learn to trust and find someone that I can fully trust. Maybe I won't and just forever be hurt again and again. I guess that's a pretty stupid way of going forward, but hey, I've met way too many idiots that have found their confidant(e). It's not always bad being stupid.
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cursee171597y@irene wait did nomad say she is gonna leave devrant? π¨ Thought she is only for a vacation π
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Also WTF?! Mini sub rant here!!
Why won't the mobile app let me copy all the nice checks that @htlr made?! O.o πππππππ -
Introvert β οΈ
Poor // unsure?
Alone xβ
Odd one out β β β β
Trouble Studying β
Family Issues β
Debts β
Hate workspace β// just some people i rant about
Bad Teacher β // that I am! xD
Depression β // been there, done that, moved on (hopefully)
Laziness β
Forever alone ββ
Struggling β οΈ
Full of regrets β
Lost something β οΈ
Lost someone β οΈ
Lost Kinda β β -
@CurseMeSlowly yeah, I think all who are here share at least 70% of answers.. gotta have something wrong in your life to rant away.. ;)
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Cyanite85577yI've no money and no job.. (nor, can I mentally work with/for someone 3:)..
I'm also homeless, crashing at my sister's place but she's getting ready to kick me out.. (if that happens, I'll have to move in with my grandparents and that would be BAD..)
I even tried asking for help on devRant (https://devrant.com/rants/1079694/...) but most were unable to help, so I'm not in any better of a position..
I don't know what to do.. my world is crumbling around me and all I can do is sit and watch..
I don't want to spam by continuously asking for money, so what should I do? -
cursee171597y@Cyanite would suggest to keep asking for help. :)
Please hang in there. Hope for the best. And do and try your best to find a job suitable for you. If working with people is hard, try to find any available freelance job that you can work from your computer. Heck go and take those ridiculous $5 jobs or something. Not for a long run, but you gotta do your best at this kind of period. And most important of all, do not give up. I have passed my hell days and still am. Things end. Please trust me.
// I am subscribed to you. So yes, I saw your recent posts. I couldn't help anyway for now since I am still waiting for my own credit card. Online payment is not an easy task in my country. :) -
cursee171597y@Cyanite also, are you in the unofficial discord channel? You can talk and discuss there as well.
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Cyanite85577y@CurseMeSlowly
I tried that, but those people are so hard to understand..
The reason I can't work for people (I said both for and with) is because I have a hard time understanding what people want from me.
If you're subscribed, then you would have seen my recent post as well. ^~^ -
Cyanite85577y@CurseMeSlowly
No, Alice keeps saying I should.
I don't have discord though.
I will check it out eventually. -
cursee171597y@Cyanite please do :) there is now life-vent-and-advice channel where we can talk shits like what you are dealing currently
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devJoe27167yI personally dislike sadness, It's more of a personal decision to most of us, worst case pay to be around women, I cannot even collect money to be around men... Its more of the nerdy life we choose to live and it's awesome...planning on buying more monitors as my Christmas gift too self...#happyandprouddev
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HRT-71316097yThanks m8 but I doubt anyone here has been through what I am going through right now
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HRT-71316097y@CurseMeSlowly I would be but I really don't like talking about my problems on a public site like devRant
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Introvert- In some situations
Poor- Jobless, so check
Alone- Not completely nowadays
Odd one out- CHECK
Trouble studying- You bet
Family issues- I don't need to get into that topic
Debts- Thankfully not
Hate workplace- Never really had employment :/
Bad teacher- There is one that I hate right now
Depression- Got it, but hopefully will keep the better state of mind
Laziness- Do you call being tired of the environment you have around you and having no motivation for most things that? If so, YES
Forever alone- Not that much anymore
Struggling- A LOT
Full of regrets- Always
Lost something- I might be losing things in the near future
Lost someone- No comment
Lost- What is up with life? -
cursee171597y@BlueNutterfly as you can see from this thread, you are not alone suffering/facing all this. So just keep on going or in your case keep on flying blue π€
Related Rants
Dear fellow developer,
You are not alone. No matter what situation you have been, you are in, you might be, there definitely are people who can share your pain and joy on similar wave length. Here at devrant.
Introvert?
Poor?
Alone?
Odd one out?
Trouble studying?
Family issues?
Debts?
Hate workplace?
Bad teacher?
Depression?
Laziness?
Forever alone?
Struggling?
Full of regrets?
Lost something?
Lost someone?
Lost?
You name it. All of us may not understand, sure. But there definitely will always be more than one person who will totally know what you are trying to say. Here at devrant only.
So whatever you are in, wherever you are and however you feel, just rant it out. π And remember that we are one tap away from you.
For that devrant creators and most of all each and everyone of you have my eternal thank.
rant
thank you guys
!rant
100th rant