Dear self proclaimed wordpress 'developers/programmers', kindly go fuck yourself.

I'm not talking about wordpress devs/designers who don't claim to have a better skillset than they have and are actually willing to learn, those are very much fine.

I'm talking about those wordpress people who claim that they're developers, programmers or whatever kind of bullshit which they're obviously not.

"A client's site crashed, you have to fix it!!!!!" sorry, come again? It's YOUR client's site. It's hosted on our hosting platform meaning that WE are responsible for KEEPING THE SERVERS UP AND FUNCTIONING.
You call yourself a wordpress 'developer' with 'programming experience' for 10 years but the second one of your shitty sites crashes, you come to us because 'it's your responsibility!!!'.
No, it's not. Next to that fact, the fact that you have to ask US why the site is crashing while you could easily login to your control panel, go to the fucking error logs and see that one of your facebook plugins crashes with a quite English error message, shows me that you definitely don't have 10 years of programming experience. And if you can't find that fucking article which tells you exactly where the motherfucking error logs are, don't come crying to us asking to fix your own fucking bullshit.

"My clients site got hacked, you have to clean it up and get it online again ASAP!!!!" - Nah, sorry, not my responsibility. The fact that you explicitly put your wordpress installation on 'no automatic updates' also doesn't help with my urge to fucking end you right now.
Add to that that we have some quite clear articles on wordpress security which you appearantly found too difficult (really? basic shit like 'set a strong fucking password' is too difficult for you?), you're on your own.

"I'm getting an error, please explain what's going wrong as soon as you can! this is a prio 1!!!!" - Nope. You were a wordpress dev/programmer right? Please act like one.

I'm not your personal wordpress agent.

I'm not your personal hacked wordpress site cleanup guy.

I'm not even a fucking wordpress professional. No, I'd rather jump off a bridge than develop wordpress bullshit for a living.

That you chose to do this, not a problem. Just don't rely on me for fixing your shit.

I'm sick of cleaning up your bullshit.

I'm done with answering your high prio tickets about bullshit which any dev could find out with just a few minutes of searching.

Oh your wordpress site isn't showing up so high in google? Yeah sure, shoot a ticket at us blaming us for your own SEO mess. I'm a fucking sysadmin, not a SEO expert.

I'm fucking done with you.

Go die in a fucking corner.

  • 2
    so at least you broke up working with those people?. Or "do you have to" work with those people?
  • 15
    I have a friend who puts "front end web developer" with knowledge in building PWA's... He has never touched HTML, CASE or JS in his life, just used WordPress, makes me want to fucking strangle him!
  • 1
    @CoffeeNcode progressive web apps
  • 3
    @linuxxx are you working for a hosting provider?

    I ask because DreamHost is obsessed with WordPress and support for it. Because I know what I'm doing, the only time I EVER contact hosts is when it's a DNS issue. If my domain goes down, that's when I contact.

    I used to be a theme dev, but I don't do that very often. I can't imagine making a living off WordPress...
  • 6
    So Linuxx will you host my mambo website? I assure you is bleeding edge technology
  • 0
    @donnico I want @linuxxx to host and troubleshoot my b2/cafelog instance. Hopefully he can fix the database when it goes down!!!!
  • 8
    Damn this hits home. Ask your boss if yall can start charging for shit like that. I started showing proof it wasn't a hosting problem then telling a price. After that i didn't get dumbass emails anymore, well besides two but they both pay extremely well for quick fixes. I mean hell one gave me $25 for looking at a php error and tell him what to do himself
  • 6
    @mgagemorgan I also have a phpbb running on an excel file as a database, I hope Linux can host it and serve 50k concurrent request without slowdown
  • 2
    If some of the younger people here don't get the b2/cafelog reference, it's the blogging software that Matt Mullenwag and Mike Little forked ~20-ish years ago - there were other forks awhile back, but WordPress won out. It's weird.
  • 0
    I feel this way about most anyone that works with ‘frameworks’ exclusively and wear trendy dev shirts and stickers on their laptops... But really I should clarify, there’s two types of ‘frameworks’ out there; those that let you do things that were difficult or nearly impossible with certain tool-sets before, and those that are just designed to allow people without a skill-set to do things that were just nearly impossible for them... The latter, I believe, is the category of which we are referring ;)
  • 0
    @jAsE Yeah, previous one was longer but was too lazy to type it ALL out again :P
  • 2
    if you get these requests daily, you should ask your boss for a new bussiness division....
    Premium WordPress Support - premium service for premium prices. In that way the custumer expierience of your hosting company will improve significantly.
  • 0
  • 2
    @jAsE @linuxxx I'm starting to feel my paranoid obsession with constantly copying whatever I write, is a bit of a blessing ;D
  • 1
    @lotd it's become part of my standard mobile workflow haha
  • 1
    Omfg how the fuck do i ++ this rant again. U said it dude, bunch of mongoloids
  • 1
    As a WP developer myself, other WP devs are the bain of my existence and give legitimate devs a really, really bad name.

    I 100% fell your pain.
  • 2
    Hey, over here! The slider on main page doesn't work! Go fix it, now!

    😣 that hurts. You're all right, you should teach them some basic things like "respect"
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