Today I was being social, apparently not a success.

In the train on the way to work I had a talk with a cute girl. Ten minutes in the conversation she started putting on makeup, to which I replied that she looked great without makeup as well.

Then she was offended and put on music...

Apparently you cant give compliments

@Alice I found it appropriate in that situation and Im still amazed why its offensive

What kind of music?

@intromatt I didnt ask xD

Think of it as a fast fail. She crashed quickly letting you know she's bugged. She did you a favor.

@intromatt disturbed - blood of violence with hardcore dark metal

@Alice There are some instances of it. If someone only lives by all the thing that's on the top 50, then I almost 100% won't get along with them. Even if they say "yeah I love Nirvana" or "I love Linkin park" and can only name Teen Spirit and Numb, that's the same. I just don't get along with "basic" people, music-wise. And of course I get along with people that like what I like, but oh well :)

Also, Rammstein is a no-go. Not that I dislike people based on whether or not they listen to it, but every people that liked it I ever met just wasn't someone I liked. Not my fault, I have just established a link over time :P

@Alice Do you need me to explain something? I know my English isn't perfect :)

Well, I have some good friends listening to k-pop and j-pop/j-rock. Of course that doesn't mean I'll get along with you, but that gives me some reference to past experiences (good ones, at that) :)

@Alice Okay, good then :)

@Floydian Depends, what do you usually listen to? ^^
(For real I know your name because you're a figure here but I'm too much of a newcomer to know you)

@Floydian Well well, if I had to say it right away it would be "Probably not", but my mind is open enough to be changed, I think :)

@Floydian Actually, the only thing that didn't work out with Rammstein fans with me was the fact that they almost considered them like gods and such

They thought it was some kind of divine speech, that the music videos were pure genius, and looked down on everyone because they had attained such a high level of spirit

But I'm sure you're not like them :P

@Floydian I'd never force anyone with my music tastes. Firstly because I wouldn't like the opposite, and secondly because I think it's better to ask about another's tastes than to just give yours regardless of the other person

@Floydian Great then :P

@Floydian whats your favourite Rammstein song?

And why did my rant about a girl suddenly become a music rant?

@Floydian Rosenrot is my favourite one I think.

Have you heard the cover of Seemann by Apocalyptica sang by Nina Hagen?
And ofcourse Helden by them sang by Till Lindenmann

@Floydian girl?

@Floydian https://m.youtube.com/watch/...
https://m.youtube.com/watch/...

What girl are you talking about?

@Floydian weirdo? Where? Maybe he wants to be my friend

@Codex404 hi man how are you?

@Codex404 hey, im fine, how arw you?

You told her to not fo something that she was doing, and/or told her that she was better before she did anything, so she actually made it worse by doind that that you did not like.

Just don't give unsolicited opinions to new acquaintances and you will be good.

@Codex404

@mundo03 I didnt tell her not to do anything though, just that she looms great without makeup as well xD

@Codex404 that us true, but I don't make the society's unspoken rules, just remember they have to fit most of the people si they are VERY general.

She could also be a psycho snowflake, so, good ridance maybe?

@Alice Noted, dont give compliments to strangers.

Although Ive got tips to do my hair differently from random strangers without having a conversation before...

Kind of strange, isn't it? Girls don't want to talk in cafe's, clubs, on the interwebz yet they still wonder why they haven't found a boyfriend yet. Not saying that a train is a good place to flirt but in this current status quo, I'm afraid that both sexes will just stay wet as a towel.. progress.

@Alice How does a compliment necessarily imply the desire to hook up and fuck the night after?

@Alice Well, the real world is often very different from movies :) I can't talk about other people (who are more often than not shit) but I generally dislike people. So when I give someone a compliment, I genuinely think that it's worth mentioning and definitely not always out of a desire to fuck. If all I wanted to do is fuck, I'd get myself a callgirl or a Fleshlight. People tend to forget it, but sometimes compliments are genuine and meant to make the other party happy, instead of getting them offended over every little thing because "they might want to just get into her pants".

@Alice I dont think it was suddenly though and "you are pretty" and "you look great" is a bit different.

@Alice Granted, saying something like that in a train is not something that I'd do. Then again, we're devs and are often orders of magnitude better with systems than we are with people, especially when it comes to those of the other sex.

Now what I mean by compliments don't necessarily imply sexual desires: I for one think that your vector designs look great, and I love how you're so experienced with stuff like IRC. On the other hand (and I know that I'm being blunt here) I wouldn't for the love of God want to have a romantic relationship with you. In that regard we're like water and fire. It doesn't match at all.

So yeah, compliments without any sexual or romantic desire. They exist. I have no romantic feelings towards you, but that doesn't make me defer a compliment about skill and knowledge, the latter being something that I value a lot.

Funny jow you guys are trying to figure out what was wrong in thr converation, therefore, figure out how to talk to girls but then try to convince @alice that your views here are the way to go.

Spoiler alert: There is no way, all interactions are a case to case, you just know how to handle some people/situations most/some/null of the time.

I have always tried not to comment on a person specifically.

To be fair, generally I keep my mouth shut and just go about my business, but when I do comment on something it is usually a “thing”.

I like your X (shoes, glasses, etc.) because these things are just things. It gets the point across (compliment) without crossing into personal territory...

Some people (good looking one too) see themselves in a distorted manor, but everyone can like a cool pair of shoes and shit.

@leanrob saying her croptop or really short pants were looking good is even worse xD

@Codex404 Yes. But at that point you might as well say...

“Damn, look at dem titties!!!”

https://gfycat.com/passionateanxiou...

If she put makeup during a talk, she wasn't really paying attention anyway.

And complimenting the looks of a cute girl is among the worst flirting ideas ever. You might even have had better chances with a smiling pun like "don't forget the shoes while you're at it".

@Fast-Nop She started the conversation and was, according to me actually interested in what I am doing. She put on makeup because the train was gonna enter a tunnel with less light and the station was in that tunnel.

Oh I've done worse. A Swiss girl sitting next to me was talking in English to a lady opposite. Being really tired of struggling with French for months, a stranger speaking good English sounded like music to my ears so I turned around and said, "Hey, excuse me but where are you from? I don't usually find people who speak good English here" and flashed my well appreciated and popular smile at her. She gave me a look that made me feel creeped out about myself before muttering "Switzerland". Conversation was corked shut. xD

@Codex404 Women don't put on makeup while they are flirting because that would draw attention to real or imagined imperfections in the first place, and that's about the last thing a flirting woman would want.

Playing with their hair is different, that's a positive body language.

@Fast-Nop why would you even think of flirting? Can two people of opposite sex not have a conversation and give a casual compliment? I gave a friend of mine compliments as well does that mean im flirting?

@Codex404 not THAT kind of compliment, no.

@Floydian Manowar, Amon Amarth, Seth, Nightwish, L'Ame Imortelle, Vivaldi.. but right now 80s retro trip back to my youth, Jennifer Rush. :-)