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I was, and still am, the biggest outsider of all. No will to talk to people, no empathy towards anyone, never going to parties, and naturally avoiding anyone that was too social. I've been bullied for the better part of my childhood but I always brushed it off. I like being like this, and I naturally hate most people, without even talking to them.
I find most social events and parties stupid and pointless. Group themes are bullshit to me. All in all, I'm a huge antisocial, and anything that resembles a group of friend repels me.
I'm not proud or ashamed of all of this. I take life as it comes, act as I live, and tell others to fuck off without restraining myself every time it comes to my mind. That's also true for every other field: if I have anything to say, I'll say it if I think it has some kind of importance. I won't tell someone something they'd consider mean without reason, but I won't hesitate if I ever feel the need to.
I don't know how some people still like me ^^' -
Still hate parties, never liked them (except birthdays and proper occasions), alcohol and/or drugs ain't problems BUT their actual use is.
Don't misunderstand me but I never had this type of situation but it'd be the best. I love discussing and such situations are perfect for my desire for discussion 😈
I would have blown them up verbally...
🤔 I was rather the inconspicuous one. Of course I belonged to it, but to everyone and nobody directly; so the average type.
Everyone has annoyed everyone sometimes (at least nobody was bullied (here I mean "gemobbt")). -
@TheOct0 I'm a little like you.
And you still are yourself, that's why people like you. Who needs a "nice" asshole who shittalks you behind your back? Or lies to you about stuff you think is important - just to not hurt you?
Also; I'm an introvert so I like hanging around with a friend or two but everything bigger makes me uncomfy and *spend energy*. I don't think they should see me not going to parties as a way to distance myself from them because I sure liked most of them in person.
And I completely agree in "No will to talk to people", I am always afraid that I'm rude but I hate talking and talking and talking if it's not a topic that both parties are interested in. And my field of interest is narrow but still deep.
Thanks for your comment!
@Irithyll I wish I had the skill to fight back verbally but I'm shaky and withdrawn so I don't. I could potentially and it'd be a hell of a lot of fun!
Thanks as well! -
@TheOct0
I (would) like you even without knowing you personally (it's this little-big part of yourself you're writing about what's interesting). :3
I really think it'd be vice versa, too. 😂
Because... duh... it's fucking me! 😝 -
@BambuSource By "no will to talk to people", I meant I won't start any conversation by myself. That being said, if someone starts a conversation and I don't see a point in not responding, I'll follow up with it.
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@Irithyll I don't particularly go along well with people like me. I go along with a random set of people (2 of them in total). Depends on how I feel, not how they are. For example, my girlfriend is quite social (not the high school social one, she just has about a dozen of active friends), and my best friend has a running mouth and little to no friends, like me. With both of them though, I'm the most talkative person you'll ever see.
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@LastDigitOfPi Haha, you sound like that guy who I talked with about the pranks. He's both on his own and still pretty social.
I don't know how he likes the "Jahrgang" though.
Your class really sounds nuts xD
@TheOct0 That's super cool. Having people around where even you (or me) can start talking like a waterfall. I have a few of them. Also countable with one hand. With the exception my my gf, I rarely meet them other than in school though. -
@BambuSource I prefer having two of those people than a bunch of uninteresting friends. Makes them feel even more special to me.
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@TheOct0
Hm... I see.
But noone is like me so I'm not like you...
I AM PERFECT!!! (Perfection itself is a mistake.)
"I'm the only gay in the village!" 😂
... Some friends once said "I know someone like you. You would like each other."
Never met someone like me, yeah people who're understanding, accepting my way of thinking (maybe even think, feel the same) BUT it's still the same. I'd like to talk to / with "myself" (another person)... 🤔
Nontheless I know that it'd fit... 🤔 sound weird... you know the context! 😝
My humor, situation comedy (don't like this translation), is something special... 😈 -
back in italy we used to have similar stuff and social dynamics at school and uni.
i've been included, excluded, invited, uninvited, i got congratulations, offenses etc...
basically, i just never gave a damn. i had my 2 old friends, my metal band, my computer and never had any interest in parties full of drunk noisy teenagers bullshitting around. well, actually in the end i developed a talent for instant caustic answers, which is good :D
years after, most of them became more than decent persons, a few are still quite miserable but honestly, like the first day, i just don't give a fuck. no bad feelings, never had bad feeling for anyone in life.
it's just that not every thing can be my thing, like discos, windows or belgian weather. i think it's pretty normal.
either i like sth or not. ppl play no role.
> me.filter(e => e === 'empathy').length === 0;
<- true -
@LastDigitOfPi basically the same as you with the exception that there werent as much of those whidegs (really like that term i think ill use it here and there :p)
Also i usually avoid parties. I sometimes go to a gaming bar (TakeTV in Krefeld, west side of Germany) with a couple of friends but other than that I void parties at any price -
@xzvf Haha, one year, then I'll leave most of them behind - thanks for your comment^^
@858master they didn't go super hard on her but they were all - not nice to her. Excluded her, "lightly" made fun of her. No insults though, no actual violence or something like that (I know other cases :/).
It was her choice to switch because - I think it's okay to say - her grades weren't that good as well. She had a hugely different background and no basics for "senior classes". -
@BambuSource Yeah I can relate to that, I hated that time, too. Though most of the classmates were not really assholes by themselves, but too cowardly to speak their minds against the bullies because they feared to become targets themselves.
Anyway, it taught me independence. The only place where I usually like even random people and will party with them is metal. That's because "fuck, I'll go my way" is the essence of metal. |m| -
@Fast-Nop \\,,,,//
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@TheOct0 brothers of metal will always be there, standing together with hands in the air! ;-)
(I actually listed Joey deMaio in the acknowledgement section of my university diploma thesis, lol) -
@BambuSource btw, what also sucks is that girls mostly are not attracted to outsiders. At least, that was my experience back then.
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@Fast-Nop
Maybe some of these girls are... but we've to start a conversation... and that's somehow impossible (for me at least 😂).
Even though I am very convinced of myself (ofc... I'm godlike, nah.. I AM a god), this is far too embarrassing in any case. I once dared to ask one of the nurses / helpers (surgery on my toe) if she would like to go out... of course she had a boyfriend... 😢 😭
That was awful... 🤫 -
@Irithyll yeah, I can relate to that. My solution was to first check a bit how a girl actually was before I even thought of asking her out. Just being a girl was never enough for me. You see, just having sex with someone is something that money could buy, so that wasn't the point.
Well and when you talk, ask what she had been doing last weekend, show interest. If she has a boyfriend, she will mention that, and you get the answer without feeling rejected. Plus that it is polite, and nobody will complain - especially not her if she doesn't have a BF. -
@Fast-Nop I got my girlfriend because we started chatting. We had a acquaintance in common, and then the magic happened.
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@Fast-Nop
Well at that point I can't check or know her name, saw her often because of my visits to the doctor. Tried searching for the last name on Facebook... 🤔
But in the wild there's no getting to know each other.
I am knowing how to speak with girls/women at all BUT if there's really no reason for a conversation (except an operation... and no that's weird for me and in my case) then it's a bit fucky... eeehhh tricky... ☺
I am creative... but not until a conversation starts :x It's embarrassing 😳
Btw - my question and smalltalk are the same. No difference between directly or indirectly asking EXCEPT the person can't think logically... 🤔
I recognize interesting people by seeing them, it isn't really necessary for me to know someone at that time. -
I think i got pretty lucky. We didnt hve any bullying except of one case, and there the entire class stood up for the girl in the end and helped her report the guy who bullied her.
We had different groups of course, but they were not hating on each other. We got along all fine, could work together on projects, all good.
There were a few nasty individuals in the year overall but I mnaged to avoid them.
In the class I was the silent kid. I would hang out with one or two others who were also nerdy in their own way.
My best friend was part of another group. She respected my choice to not parttake in any parties. We didnt hang out much in school, but would meet often to talk.
In the end we made a group of 5-6 people, who were a physics studient (super smart), an artist, a nurse, 2 cs interested students and a goth. So the nerds of the school year were just hanging out together basicly. ^^ -
dude, welcome to the world. you just described society in general. at least in my country. just dont give a single f**k about them, find your own companions outside the school.
in my elementary school i helped bullies on tests in exchange to leave me alone, others were not of that luck
high school was fun. people were diverse, every class had some less or more weird people and seemed that nobody cared as everybody was treating other people nicely. Jerks were mocked by majority and i got feeling that if something happens, a lot of people will help me out, even if we are not in the same gang of people. i was metalhead and there were like just 10 of us in all 4 years (each year had like 9 classes of 30 people) but we were cool with everybody and everybody was cool with us even we looked different, acted different and had different lifestyle. this was the last time i felt good about people in general. college was ok, lot of judgmental people there(social sciences, what an irony)
!dev but actual long rant - about the students in my grade.
TL;DR: 1 asshole in 10 people can ruin everything. Mobbing sucks. I dislike parties.
There's the word "Jahrgang" in Germany which means the people in the same school year as you. I'll refer to it as "my (collective) classmates" although we don't have classes anymore, rather courses and I also mean those I do not have courses with.
With that out of the way, let the rant begin.
It's often the case that people with high logical and intellectual skills (no being arrogant, other people categorize me like that) have a lack of social skills - or empathy.
I'm a kind of an outsider in a way that since 10th grade I stopped trying to attach myself to certain groups since I do not fit in there. I'm fine with that now. Nowadays I can at least socialize with other nerds.
Here's why I dislike the collective of my classmates. This year is my last school year and as always, a big group forms a spirit. They have a theme (superheroes - super boring). I didn't go to any party they threw and I don't plan to go to the graduation ceremony as well since it's an unofficial party and not a school event. I hate parties. I hate alc and drunken teenagers. I didn't attend the "Kursfahrt" - a kind of excursion that's like holidays with your course - mainly because I dislike my "Stammkurs" (main course).
Why? I had a friend in this course. She was short, geeky and I could actually talk to her. Yet some jerks (not intensely) bullied her because "she was awkward" and in the end, she switched school - also because of other reasons.
When she was gone, even those who didn't bully her and who are considered "nice" made fun of her and talked badly about her - and me hanging around with her. So since then, I avoid anything with them that's not 100% school related.
Now they're planning what we call "Abigag" - it's a joke/prank the graduates pull on the school and younger students, something funny like an entrance room full of balloons and many other things. Also, the "Abizeitung", the yearbook the graduates put out with articles about their courses, teacher ranking and quotes etc. Also, a cabaret evening from the graduates to collect money for the graduation party. Cool stuff actually. I thought about taking part.
I'd say my talents are creativity and computer stuff. So a friend chatted with me about nerdy pranks like a school-wide wallpaper change. Or releasing a fake password list of the teachers - claiming we hacked them - with puns and insiders about the teaches. He said he gotta invite me into the WhatsApp group of the Abi prank. Disclaimer: He's one of those people who are socialized but still able to talk with me. He's fine.
Well guess what he told me later:
They don't want me on the team since I distance myself from my classmates. I should either be fully one of them or not at all.
That's enough. Who distances whom? I thought they were happy to have me on board but horse shit! Stuck with ideologies from the 19th century.
They can lick my ***. I don't have anything against most of them in person but as a collective, they're just fucking stupid. I guess it wasn't even the majority saying they don't want me to help. It was probably just the small crew of leading and loud jerks. And no one would disagree with them saying "Why not? He wants to help?" (even if it was their opinion) - they don't have the brain or balls to say anything against the strong idiot leaders. They'll do great later in politics as an adult - they wouldn't criticize Hitler if they were under his "protection".
So I won't take part in making Abi pranks, - but also not the Paper and cabaret eve. They can go jerk off to being part of a huge collection of assholes - which I, in all my pride, am not part of other than on paper.
(Disclaimer: No critics to other outsiders but those who were engaged and responsible for the choice of not letting me help)
If anyone actually read this:
Who were/are you in school times?
A proud outsider like me? Party boi/girl? Engaged striver?
rant
i hate people
abitur
parties
an outsiders point of view