Few phrases you should not say at Job:

1. That's not my job
2. We've tried that before
3. There's no budget for that
4. I told you so
5. That doesn't follow procedure

Comment if you have more.

Technically.....
Actually....
That's how I learned it in uni.

why? i always say those, i also like to say “ see? you should never underestimate me”

I can't believe that they hired you,

It only makes it worse

"That should work." - Trying to be not superstitious, but whenever I said that out loud, debugging ensued afterwards. :D

My theory always works.

I only use my own solutions

"stop bothering me you bloody wanker"

@dontPanic 😂😂

The worst when people give you in writing.

"Not a part of my job profile"
"We can't do this"

6. "Do not enter the toilet for the next 3 hours. I had raw onions yesterday."

"We always did otherwise."

I don't see anything wrong with any of the 5 sentences in the rant.

1. If I do shit I'm not supposed to do, that means the shit I am supposed to do gets delayed.

2. Trying the same failed thing again doesn't seem like the smartest way of using money.

3. No budget means the work doesn't get done because it isn't important. It's that easy.

4. Ok, that's on the border, but can still be useful to establish a clear line for next time.

5. If it doesn't follow the procedures, it means that QA will shoot it down anyway because that's their job.

"You should probably think about that a bit more.."

“It’s not in the issue” or “the issue only says I should do this” when it clearly breaks design or the story wasnt thought out enough or incomplete and the dev couldnt be bothered to raise the issue and discuss it.

“Thats not my concern” or “thats not part of my job description” without pointing to the person you should talk to

Or downtalk other roles (interns, trainees, reception) in the company

“If I tell you, you wont learn” if the person clearly knows the answer and theres a deadline and the other person struggles.

There shouldn't be any problems.
It will take you, what, 2 minutes?
A "quick" anything...
Should be [easy,fast...]

Sounds like a “you” problem, not a “me” problem.

@bkwilliams haha I've used the "this sounds like it's more your problem than mine" variant previously.

Went down surprisingly well.

@fattymiller I actually used it today.

Let me Google it for you.... secretly mumbling...fkn dumb cu*ts

A simple “why?” fucks me over more than anything else

@Loading my favorite responses to why are: "there is no why, only what happened" and "why will cost more time (or 1 hour or....) but do you want it fixed or not?"

salary will delay this month :)

See You Next Tuesday

@jschmold hahhahahaha

@Wombat lol really? 😉

"I'm gonna try to do it"

"Yes I worked with VB a few years ago".

I regret saying that so much.

NEVER admit to knowing any language that you want to avoid.

I now get to maintain a legacy VB that brings in enough money to be worth updating, but not enough to be worth re-writing.

Thank-fuck it's only a couple of hours a month.

@cjbatz thank you for the advice ._.

"need a raise"

Let’s have a meeting

@lewdogg that shit brings me horrors 🙉

@MPKaboose I disagree, I've asked for a raise multiple times with good results. Just don't do it the wrong way. There are plenty of resources online that will help you do this without causing offence. Remember, a business is about making profit, so they will pay their staff as little as possible... If you want a bigger piece of the pie, you gota ask for it.

@cjbatz yeah, you just need to have an argument why you are worth a raise. Successful delivery of a difficult project would be a good opportunity. After announcing one more month delay, asking for a raise would be dubious.

I am confused.

Should I avoid these sentences because they make me look bad? Or maybe I lose points in office politics? Or do you think they are objectively wrong things to say and there’s something wrong in being concerned about the budget?

@arcadesdude can I ++ this a thousand times!

I see someone else is also on LinkedIn xD

😂