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Infinite loop... Backtrace: OOM
Uncatched Exception, Logic Exception: Should never happen.
Seeding database - please wait: prod01 -
not_your_file.py:432 unknown statement "foo"
"so my code is fine. it's the library? but not even the library, but the other library required by the library I need? which line caused this. fuck!"
-- based on a (million) true story(ies)

Programmer one-line horror stories? A few off the top of my head:
Segmentation fault (core dumped)
'Undefined' is not a function
Unit test failed: expected '0' but got '-1'
Connection to 'localhost:8080' has been lost
Malformed JSON string at col: 46,372. Expected '}'
joke/meme