10
Bubbles
5y

Random thoughts that I need to put somewhere. that I’ve been holding in and have to get out.

I feel like I’m more welcomed and wanted here than in real life. My friends don’t really think about me when making plans anymore, no one really thinks of me in general.

In school I was the awkward kid that was nice to everyone and I’m not taking the whole graduation well. I miss high-school and my vocational school, I miss my friends and I’ve just felt like things ended too soon and I just kinda feel alone

I wish I could just sit down and program and not procrastinate the only time I seem to be able to get stuff done is when I force myself. I feel like I’m such a shitty developer for not fighting it better. I need to be better.

I’ve not had a good few weeks. Since I’m taken a semester off from college no one in my family besides me is able to stay with a family member that’s in the hospital. I volunteered because I care for them deeply and want to help them. but it takes a huge toll on me since I have to be the one that listens to the doctors tells the rest of my family what’s happening. While Im kinda freaking out because I’m scared and nervous and NOT READY and I’ve had to stay a week there and I’ve been having to stay on and off and I haven’t really told anyone how I really am feeling about it all because I don’t like to be vulnerable in front of people and it’s been really hard and taking a toll and not helping the procrastination.

Comments
  • 2
    bro
    i think you're like top 3 nicest people here
    sorry you're going through a tough time
  • 2
    @jesustricks I don’t think you understand how much that means to me oml thank you
  • 1
    @Bubbles 😀

    that hospital situation you mentioned sounds terrible!
    you're going through college, older people in the family should handle that! that sucks!

    regarding your friends, remember the timon quote from lion king "if you the world turns their back on you, you turn on your back to the world"

    in anycase, we could chat in a discord and i could help you out with code or just to vent about your hardships
  • 1
    @jesustricks thank you a lot

    All my family work so I’d rather step up so they aren’t alone so it’s not that bad it’s just draining.

    Lion king is wise and amazing movie. And that’s advice I’ve followed quite a few times. But yeah idk what can ya do when ya boys aren’t trying to be ya boys.

    And I’m always down I only have one programming friend irl and we rarely discuss programming. So anyone that I can pop a question/opinion or any programming topic wise is always welcome

    My discord for you (and anyone that wants to add me): BubbsTheSupreme#0157
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