This morning at 5:30 AM I was awoken to 20 text alerts for services being down.
Seems they had been down since 2 AM but the previous shift didn't take action.

Long story short:
An outsourced common component is unavailable, and the team responsible doesn't know how to troubleshoot.
I pointed them to the exact issue.
We are now 10 hours into the outage and they still don't know what to do.