Hey guys, so i got my first job, but there's this stupid problem there that i am having...there's this guy who makes fun of everybody and there are other two guys who laugh at his every joke whenever he makes fun of someone. He made fun of me too a few times, fun of my age, fun of my nose, fun of certain things i said, and those other guys laugh , and this is really frustrating and annoying. I am thinking of quitting..but i am not sure...should i quit for such a small reason? I dont like such people...i dont know what to do...i dont wanna complain to the HR for such a small thing and create more drama...kindly tell me what to do...i really get sad when he indirectly mocks me because of my age. I am a bit old, 31...and the others are in their twenties...please help, thanks

I tell my coworker to go fuck himself on a daily basis. And that he's a fuckin peasant.

Maybe lighten up a bit and don't be so serious? It's just fuckin words after all

@Stuxnet yeah...i wish i could be in my twenties and also could have started my dev career early...this aging thing sucks..

That's a toxic work environment. They must fuck off. Also, what other "drama" HR has to deal with besides these cowards?

@vintprox the problem is...i dont want this to cause some scene in the office and also dont want the people in the office to know about it and all, that guy would obviously deny it and then it will be really an embarrassing thing...i just read about this thing called 'grey rocking' , i gotta apply that...

@Stuxnet there's a difference between banter and toxic/alienating work culture. It definitely could be the latter and in a lot of cases it's disguised as "lol I was just joking". In a professional environment, knowing which boundaries you can and cannot cross is very important.

Things tend to become less and less formal over time, but OP's just joined so I'm inclined towards interpreting this as "toxic".

@RememberMe i think i have to be like a rock...not respond or show any emotion when they say such stuff...i cant leave this job since the pay is good and the job itself is nice...lets hope things will get better...

@souvikpunk ignoring is for façade, behind the scenes - collecting evidence of his weak performance.
I would begin with confrontation. Never show that you are weak nerd who fears to lose job (even if in fact you are).

@souvikpunk Seems like a toxic place or wrongly-placed banter. To find out, here are a few questions for you:
0. Have you confronted him about it and asked him to stop? Does he acknowledge it?
1. If you did the above and it hasn't changed, have you spoken to your/his manager about it?
2. What does his/your (or both if they are different) manager say? Do they care or laugh at it/you?

If neither him, coworkers or the manager(s) do anything about it (like it's not a big deal), you **should** report it to HR; if you think you have thin skin and don't want to report it, then you do you. But if you reached this point then it's the most sensible option (even if you think it's a small drama and aren't willing to put up with shitty behaviour like this).

Now, if HR doesn't do anything about it or fail in taking actions; then for your sanity and wellbeing, you've got the following options:
- change team/department or
- quit

Thanks for the comments guys...i will think about what you all said...thanks a lot. It really sucks to join somewhere and leave it because of all this stuff...but i guess its life...thanks for the comments, i truly appreciate it :)

Just my rather inexperienced 2 cents but you either:
- call it a small thing and deal with it on your own / talk to the guy / etc or
- blow it up and involve others
Not involving HR because it's just a small thing but also quitting because you can't put up with it sounds stupid.

@souvikpunk Trying to ignore this kind of shit doesn't work. You don't want to find that out the hard way.

I have already started applying to places, if you live in mumbai and if your company is hiring MERN freshers please let me know, thanks

@souvikpunk that sounds awful lot similar to where I worked once and left after two years because it just got too toxic... Let me guess, does the company name start with V?

@fighter hi, it starts with 'W', how did you spend 2 years there? Why didnt you leave early? And please advice me what i should do, i just joined 10 days ago

You need to blow up to his face and go to HR too - it will be an ice cold atmosphere for 3-4 days after that, but after that they will never dare doing such thing, you can trust me. Don't be afraid of blowing up, if you show a psychopatic side, after that it will be them who will constantly try that 'let's not bring coldness' and they will walk on eggshells.

I think you shouldn't really give a fuck about him/them. If he makes fun of everybody probably he is not after you. He is just an annoying lowlife person that cannot concentrate on his job and probably an egocentric attention whore.

Just dismiss him like you dismiss 99% of percent of warnings and stupid errors in the logs of a bloated java application.

Watch out for the dangerous 1% though.
You are the senior there, after all. Assume your role.

@willcandy thanks brother :)

You owe it to yourself to speak up. Just tell him that you don’t find it funny and you would like him to stop. Without a smile on your face. Without threatening. Just draw that line in the sand.

@RememberMe ya I mean if you're doing that shit day one if homie working, then you're a cunt. But after a few weeks when you get to know each other, I'd say it's banter lol

But I mean I've got thick ass skin so like only 3 things phase me

Ignoring and trying to fool yourself that 'this is ok ' will only bottle up more feelings inside you and bullies feed on people who don't fight back. :/

How are you 31 and this easily upset?

Why are you unsecure about your age anyway? If you're good at your job that's all that matters, no matter when you started.

Sadly, I feel some of the advice in these comments might not be useful in your part of the world 🙁

@Stuxnet sure, you're like that and your environment is like that. You're not OP and your environment isn't OP's environment.

I have a lot of experience with this:

1) Pull him aside alone, away from his lackeys, and ask him to politely but firmly stop making fun of you. Tell him it's unprofessional and that you feel like it's interfering with your work together. If he does it again, give him a few public warnings like "You know i really don't appreciate that" or "Thats not very professional to say"

2) if he can't respect that, go to your boss, tell him you tried to talk to him but he won't listen. If the guy wont stop, ask your boss to get HR involved.

3) If your boss wont do anything, then this is where you resort to going to HR. You tell the guy you're going to report him and then go straight to them and report him.

The reason for these steps is to show that this isnt just an issue of someone engaging in harmless fun, and rather that there is no doubt that this individual is malicious or mean-spirited, and this is demonstrated through his refusal to respect your request as an adult and coworker.

@Hazarth thanks bro..

@willcandy nailed it

I'm with @arcsetor here.
I do like to make fun at work, but most of my coworkers do, and we make fun of each other (and often ourselves), but that's fine for them (and me).
But if I have a new coworker and he / she does not feel comfortable with our jokes or even being bullied I'd like to know before they're just leaving without telling me, so I (respectively we) can adjust our behavior to be more serious at work.

I think it's easy to say you just shouldn't care, but I think if you feel uncomfortable with this you should try to change this and be allowed to speak about it.
Maybe the guy doesn't want to bully you and just wants to be funny and he somehow doesn't get that you're not laughing your ass of as well..

Hope you're feeling comfortable and welcomed in your workplace soon, if it's this one or the next :)

@nibor @GetRektAngular thanks :)

@K-Hole I mean, there are many "adults" who think 25-32 is old when some of them are in their early 20's or late teens. But yeah, such thoughts are laughable and idiotic at best.

Just think of it as another day at the kindergarten. Their moms will be along to collect them in the afternoon. Then you can get on with actual work.

@platypus i left that place...