I know functional programming is hip now, but I wonder if I'll ever see a day when it's considered cutting edge to make every variable global. Possible twilight zone episode?

That's JavaScript mate.

You may have a wrong understanding of what functional programming actually is

@theZorgEffect no modification of variables, only the constant formal parameters closed within functions. The formal parameters are mapped and reduced to new constants by passing existing constants to other functions. 1. Is either statement wrong at a basic level? 2. What bits of understanding am I missing? I'm certain I don't understand it totally.

@thejohnhoffer also, I think I understand correctly that map/reduce has nothing specifically to do with functional programming- it's just the best way I know to describe what functions do.

@thejohnhoffer these features don't turn JS into a functional language. They're functional aspects - yes but again that's not all there is to a functional language. Take a look a Clojure (and since we're talking about JS, why not ClojureScript?) then you'll have a better idea of what a functional language is

js isn't functional in the sense nor oop, it's JavaScript the weird kid in the block