So, german long distance trees are called ICE/IC (Intercity/-Express).
The wifi there, if any, is called WIFIonICE.
My stupid brain immediately thought of a musical with dancing routers and switches in tights.

Express trees?
Cypress trains?

I'm confused....

@magicMirror
Trains for fucks sake.
The one time I need autocorrect...

Meine Güte

Deutsche Bahn... No wonder you are hallucinating.

I mean... It's a miracle that it arrives and it's an even greater miracle that it brings you to your point of destination.... Or at least close enough to it.

I don't suspect the ICE wifi to even work. When you go on a long-distance travel with the German ICE in winter, you better have a warm blanket with you. I still remember how that saved my ass.

The best thing was the conductor asking why I had a blanket. Because I was a frequent customer, I answered, and we both laughed.

@Fast-Nop the wifi, when it exists, is quite nice. Tje problem is the german mobile network. The wifi on the trains connects to the internet with all threein germany providers, but the network is shared by everyone and often there is only umts or GSM available.

I just remembered that they plan to change the name to a more general one that will be used across germany for trains and trainstations.