I have arrived at a conclusion that most, if not all, people in management (managers, sr managers, directors, VPs, etc) are assholes.

And every single person who is hands on with their skill is gold of a human being.

I think, to be a manager, the basic criteria is to be an asshole. Fuckers ignore you, discourage you, belittle you in front of everyone, never help you, and make your life difficult as much as they can.

That totally ruins the productivity and moral of a person.

Welcome to Capitalism, Floyd.

And person who is hands on, knows and has fuck ton of more knowledge and wisdom needed to achieve something. They are very helpful and nice.

Just bagging a heavy pay check and making crappy decisions doesn't make you a good boss.

That's a good motivation to become one no?

@SoldierOfCode become an asshole or a manager or a good person?

@Floydimus Motivation to become a manager lmao

@SoldierOfCode lol I already am a Sr Manager 🙈

@Floydimus And are you making a difference?

@SoldierOfCode while I am a IC guy, whoever I have worked with have always had a good opinion of me, have reached me for advise/help, and have been in touch for as long as they can.

So, yes.

@Floydimus Amazing! Doesn't it feel great? Next time you gotta have doubts or lack of motivation, remember that. You make peoples' lives easier instead of harder, be proud of yourself!

@SoldierOfCode tbh no.

I slowly stopped being kind without reason, because I realised the hard way that not everyone deserves to be helped and then there are some who just drain your soul.

@root will agree.

Used to feel good initially with those oxytocin kicks but over the period of time, I am pretty neutral

Yeah, there are "managers" and then there are "leaders"

As a manager myself: I agree with this post. Which is why I became a manager myself. I wanted to take away all previous decisions made by managers who were obviously not engineers and start from scratch building a better environment for my guys, which prior to being my "employees" were my team, my family and of course my friends.

It gets hard, knowing how to draw certain lines. But in this scenario they view it as "my boy is asking me to do something" and most of the time I do not need to ask them, they already know what to do. So that level of trust definitely helps more than "that fucking asshole is tasking me with x...fuck him"

I also made a point of this: know what each one of them do. That way if they are sick or away I can pick up on their work. THIS last part to me is fucking essential, but most managers or team leaders constantly fail on it inside of this industry.

@AleCx04 10/10 agree on backfilling the team when needed.

Also, 1:1 with managers and directs are underrated. So many fail to leverage the true power of it.

@Floydimus There are just as many assholes in the world, irrespective of the economic system. It’s just that in many others, instead of holding your paycheck over your head, it’s their boot.

But it’s true, many people do not deserve kindness nor respect. Being kind regardless drains your energy, and marks you as a pushover and therefore a target.

Instead: Be kind and respectful by default, and change your attitude and behavior towards people to match theirs. Not only will you be surrounded by fewer assholes, the people you do treat well will see this respect you all the more for it.

tl;dr: be respectful, but take no shit.

@Root the moment you start mirroring people, they just realised how full of shit they are.

The real ones stay and that's when you know in which relationship to put in efforts and be kind & respectful.

But yes, being a good human in general goes a long way, just being cautious of limits is important.

@AleCx04 This, absolutely.

When I got into management, I did so because nobody else was able, capable, or decent. They were aloof assholes, assholes who only hired their asshole friends, assholes who didn’t care about anything other than status/rank/pay, assholes who worked only for kickbacks, etc. A few of them were decent people who had no idea what they were doing.

So I worked to become a lead dev, manager, senior manager. I shielded my team as best I could, and gave them the freedom to work how and when they worked best; anything as long as they got their assigned work done. If they weren’t up to the task for whatever reason (e.g. sick, stolen by another team, etc.) I would take over for them. (Except art; I really can’t art well enough). I also allowed them to take on fun personal projects — good for morale, and also: the best features/mechanics/etc. often come out of them.

And my teams loved me for it. The only ones who hated me were the lazy ones, and the asshole managers who wanted me to be more of an asshole.

My advice to any would-be manager:

Treat your team like your friends. Be kind, be respectful, understand and address their needs. Trust them. Also, be skilled enough at their jobs to pick up the slack when needed — and very importantly: do not fault them for it. Do not be afraid to get your hands dirty and pick up some tickets, too. If your team sees you working just as hard as them, they will respect you all the more for it. Also, get to know their personalities, strengths, and weaknesses so you can better form teams for projects. But don’t forget your role, either: when they succeed, everyone does. If they fail, it’s because of you.

(Also, be very wary when hiring: one asshole will taint the entire team. Make sure everyone’s personalities mesh well)