I am the very model of a modern major sociopath
I like to fill a bathtab with some virgins blood and take a bath
I code in ruby and rust and make future generations cringe
at the awful fucking syntax that I pushed on theeeemmm

I am so very gleeful yay
I am so very cheerful may
Just shove expanded jargon in your face
and somehow yet you say ok.

I am the mind behind the nosql
and I made a me a mongodb
I created shitty storage methods and I laughed with evil glee
you'll never be able to code in any of these things good for me
because performance in apps that use these things is fraud you see

i am so very warm in my bath
i make shitty programs and i laugh
now join me while i sacrifice this calf
and make this video of about that shit the graph