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@Floydimus I agree.
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Well I'm one of these insecure people, and I think that's the case for a lot of humans, even though there are many different ways for them to express it. So yes, when I ask people for feedback, I would love to receive a sweet bag of praise. But constructive criticism is always welcome, so that I have plenty of possibilities to get even more praise in the future 🤑
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@nonox calling it constructive criticism is just sugar coating.
It's upto the reciever on how they take the criticism, constructively or destructively.
A matter of perspective. -
@blindXfish lol
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Agree with @SoldierOfCode
People pleasers are appreciated for a little while but then end up pissing everyone off in the long run.
People that stick to their guns can possibly piss some off at first but eventually gain people’s respect precisely for having stuck to their guns -
While that's true, I refuse to do that.
I train all my colleagues and friends to expect my true opinion and actually constructive criticism. I don't attack people for their opinions nor laugh at them, I tell them which things I disagree with and why.
This results in people knowing they can turn to me when they really need something and hopefully it also grows them as a person.
Those who are too fragile to handle it simply learn to not do it.
My secret is that I don't need anyone to like me. The people that do like me are people that know they can trust me and it works both ways. Everyone else I have no problem being cold towards -
@SoldierOfCode @black-kite not asking to fale or be a people pleaser.
Just a strategy to avoid people without being a dick. -
@milk or did you?
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@Floydimus
I like the Trojan Horse strategy.
First validate, and while their ego is unguarded and celebrating the victory, stab them relentlessly through the heart. -
@bittersweet sssshhh!!! Don't leak the second part.
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This is my survival tactic.
If someone appears dangerous — meaning aggressive and abusive — I will sometimes resort to this to get them off my back because I’m always afraid their behavior will suddenly turn violent.
Why?
It always did with my parents when I was little. Thanks for the neuroticism, assholes. -
@bittersweet like killing vampires.
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@Root yes, that's another reason. Build a safe way out instead of indulging.
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@Root
*Irrationally grumpy mom comes into the house, looking for any random blame-target*
"Oh wow mom, your hair looks absolutely amazing today"
*pees in the chardonnay while she isn't looking* -
@Floydimus whyy? didn’t feel like it? What will it take for lord Floydimus to feel valid? 🥺
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@milk a glass of milk maybe?
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@kwilliams for a moment you got me there. Lol
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@Floydimus i gotchuu 😌
Want to be likeable or get your way through people?
No need to sell ice cream, just validate those insecure souls.
Wide majority does not want their fragile bubble to be broken even if they are suffocating within.
All they seek is validation. That's fucking it. That's the secret.
If someone asks you for some opinion or support, most of the time they are just want to hear how great their mediocre thought process is.
Someone's lack of ability accept criticism and grow is the sole reason they are stuck in quicksand situation and only drowning further.
An unethical social skill but this will take you a long way and also help you stay sane from the insecure narcissistic scums by avoiding toxic interaction.
JUST VALIDATE THEM.
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