A scammer called me today. They were saying that harmful files were moved to my computer and they needed to remove them. I don't think they are ever going to call me again.

S = scammer; M = me;

S: this is tech support we need access to your computer because we detected harmful files and need to remove them.
M: oh my! Hold on, let me go to my computer now. How can you access it?
S: we can just use RDP and delete the files. They are in a hidden folder that is encrypted so this Is the only way.
M: oh ok I believe you. Hm... it looks like my son only allows certain IP addresses to access our computers.. I don't know how to disable this so can you just email me your IP address?
S: Sure...

He then sends me his actual IP address... it doesn't even look like a proxy or VPN.

M: oh my I forgot that you need my password to login. It's really long and complicated... can I just email it to you?
S: Sure!!

I then tell him to hold on I have to find it that my "son" stored it somewhere.

At this time I'm taking a photo of my bare ass and attaching it to the email. I then say in the email "Please note what my job title is in my signature.. I just sent the FBI your name, phone number, email, and IP address. Please enjoy my bare ass, you'll see a lot of it in prison."

  • 252
    Nice rant, I can see this working on the less technical.
    Don't exactly know why he would see your ass a lot in prison though...
  • 30
    Haha. Good one. Sometimes the scammers and scammers seems funny when you know your stuff.
  • 86
    So...If he's going to see your bare ass in prison does that mean you are also in prison?
  • 258
    You guys take things so literal.

    What are you, a bunch of developers or something?
  • 25
    @fyroc something along those lines, yeah
  • 41
    That might be the most astute observation of the day.

    And to continue on that note: We literally have no idea how he (scammer/future-sexy-orange-suit-barer) is figuratively going to see a lot of your ass in prison. πŸ€”

    Butt not to worry as good developers we will have some sleepless nights and present you with a creative solution (not a hack, it is after all a fellow developers ass on the line hereπŸ˜‰).
  • 5
    How can I favourite this ass rant?
  • 3
    @STRINIX bottom right corner of rant
  • 2
    Good one, mate. They deserved it. :)
  • 5
    Didn't expectat the photo part I laughed so hard πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚
  • 1
    @fyroc We're a bunch of dicks. And I've heard there's a lot of those in prison too, in addition to the bare asses.
  • 2
    When you say it doesn't look like a proxy or VPN, how can you tell?
  • 3
    I've had that happen a couple of times. I just say that I don't own a computer.
  • 5
    @timurtu Simple.. when I pulled the Whois info the origin was a well known ISP from India.
  • 1
    Saving this for later!
  • 2
    GG WP... Or just ezy.. But great work hope they removed then
  • 3
    Meanwhile I'm sitting here on the can thinking what your job title might be!
  • 0
    @200Ok So did you actually report him or did you just say that to him
  • 1
    @anyhus I report all of them
  • 0
    @200OK that's good, they never stop preying on the elderly and tech illiterate
  • 3
    I read the Scammer text with an Indian voice in my head... xD
  • 1
    @Akio do you also constantly tilt your head from side to side while doing that!? LOLs
  • 0
    @STRINIX uhh... ++ it?
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