Manager: "<third-party vr app> isn't working. Think you could fix it by tomorrow?"

Me: "I can't fix it without the source code."

Manager: "Didn't you install it?"

Me: "I did, but I'd need <third-party>'s source code if you want me to make changes and that problem would probably take at least a day to fix."

Manager: "Can't believe you don't have the source code. Aren't you supposed to have your code available?"

(Just....)

Tell me this isn't a real conversation... please...

You need to get out of there FAST!

If your manager is really that moronic, you have absolutely no hope of explaining anything to do with source code to him.

Your manager has a long way to go.....

Why are you talking directly to non-IT. Let your team lead, project manager, head of IT, or TCO talk to that morons.
There are cases where the hierarchy is protecting your sanity.

Also while you really shouldn't speaking with non-IT, you technically could try to explain the situation:
"That software isn't made by us and we don't have the source code for it.
We would need that source code to be able to alter the software - including fixing bugs in it.
All we can do now is to tell the maker of the software about the bug and waiting for them to fix it."
Technically, you could also mention the following options:
- Buying the maker and making it fixing the bug.
- Buying the source and fixing the bug yourself.
- Paying the maker to fix the bug.
- Replacing the software with: something made inhouse or a gratis or paid open or closed source product.

But if you find it hard to speak with morons, chances are, speaking with them actually isn't your job. So use the hierarchy wisely.

@Oktokolo I’ve been banned from talking to non-techies a few times before because either I overwhelm them with details, or simply start laughing.

Ignorance I can accept, though I’m admittedly terrible at teaching. But I have a low tolerance for idiocy and mental laziness — and that describes most people in management, sales, hr, etc.

“I thought you were going to implement cloudinary? You had like half an hour. Can’t you just integrate the source code into our database mainframe?” 🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️

@Root
Sometimes I think the entire company exists to prevent me talking directly to the customers....

"What are you talking about? Defragging the UI? can you repeat that in another way? ok. UI 'is broken'. In what way? Do you understand that I'm a backend dev?"

Where do you people work at that I keep reading all these manager horror stories, with dumb fucks that know nothing of tech trying to try tell devs what to do?

@ars1 Idiocy? In company management? It’s more likely than you think.

Pretty sure that's what tazers are for

@ars1
They work in companies big enough to have employees doing only management stuff all day long.

@magicMirror
Actually, that is one of the good reasons for being employed rather than self-employed:
Not having to deal with customers.

It’s because these morons watch movies where people hack into the CIA within 10 minutes and believe it.
Compared to that our work should take all of 30 seconds.

tell him you are ill and then ask him to fix it without being allowed to either speak to you, look at you or even touch you

@Oktokolo The hierarchy is the problem:
this was to my direct report: "IT Manager."

@ars1 I work for myself mostly, but this was a while ago at a very large enterprise. I've worked with several large companies and this is actually shockingly common.

@Demolishun Fortunately this was from a while ago. Unfortunately, this was a real conversation.

Contrary what others are saying I think you should give the manager the benefit of the doubt and assume they think getting source code is like googling for something.

You Legit should ask them if they want to know how code works at all - then show them how to clone a repository, view files etc. They don't need to understand code to get the gist.

Similar to how when someone who doesn't know graphics asks a designer "just edit the text" and sends them a jpeg - the designer might need to show them what rasterization means.

Are there better places that would take you so you don’t have to deal with this dumbass ever again?

Edit: whoops, you left him and now work for yourself! I goofed! But I’m glad you no longer have to deal with him