we're doing a massive database migration and trying to fix a lot of shit that was done for years in the db. problem is, i have to cater to a business major asshat that doesn't know the first thing about working with data and he's responsible for 99% of the shit we're trying to clean up.

his response to the problem i brought up in his stuff? "we can deal with it later, right now i need it like this". this is why you guys have a shit database, because we have to spoil this idiot. then they complain everything takes forever to run and the database is bloated and somehow it is our fault.

I'm really holding myself right now, because i already went off on him once and he basically called me hysterical, and our boss likes him too much to antagonize the bastard. but god i wish i could run over him

"hysterical"? Might be dealing with a sexist then. You could try sending a collegue with a deeper voice to convince him...

@Oktokolo he said i was making a mountain out of a molehill. my problem is that there's a thousand molehills and he pisses me off. i think 1/3 is sexism, 1/3 is his personality and 1/3 is thinking he know more because he's around for longer

@darksideofyay If it isn't actually pure sexism, it might be very hard to convince him. As he got backup from higher up, it depends on whether he has any responsibility for the database whether you can just ignore him and fix the data anyways...

Might very well be the case, that you have to live with crappy data because of "non-technical constraints". In that case, you better have a good lib for checking stuff comming from the "database".

@Oktokolo that's pretty much it. they plug the database on excel so a lot of what he does is due to excel limitations and/or lack of knowledge. or just straight up not giving a fuck, he just wants to make everything quick and thinks that's an excuse. another co-worker has seniority, but he can't say anything either, they just tell us to accept

@darksideofyay That is a classic. Excelbases are everywhere. Shittons of workbooks containing multiple sheets featuring one monstrous - or multiple smaller - tables each. Massive amounts of

duplicated data - mostly inconsistent of course...

You can accept that and try to keep the database you are actually working with clean... Or you can just run away screaming (definitely the more dramatic option).

Some bugs aren't fixable.

Just throw in some data as proof.

When it comes to databases, it is easy to measure performance degradation...

If Excel is involved, it can't be that much data.

Still I know that feeling... Like Don Quixote riding against wind mills.

Me: "Did you see the graphs?"

X: "Yeah, you sent some stuff last week".

Me: "That stuff were benchmarks, the workaround costs us around 10-15 %..."

X: "But the query runs only for 2 secs"

Me: "... Without interruption explanation goes more easily.... It runs now at 2 secs, it could run at 0.35 ms, improving customer experience and increasing cost efficiency as it is one of the most active queries"

X: "But I need the workaround".

Me: "We'll find another solution for you, but the workaround will not happen"

X: "But I need it now"

Me: "Again... Not going to happen, as stuff is still in deployment, only after the full migration was completed".

X: "I cannot work like that".

Me: "I will send the upper management an estimation of the delay and additional costs to cater for your workaround, but as it needs to be approved, it will not happen anytime soon. Again, it would make sense if you just wait...

X: NO. I need it now.

I guess that's somehow the discussion going on....

Most of the time my estimate is several weeks, just to stop the madness from happening. If for whatever reason the upper management still insists, I start to sit it out....

Oh sorry, sprint has already started...

Currently no dev has knowledge on that topic...

Nah they need to work together now to finish it....

It's not lying technically if there is at least a grain of truth in it. 😇

@IntrusionCM "if excel is involved it can't be that much data" oh you sweet summer child.

it doesn't matter if i prove or not, they just want his excel stuff to go live yesterday. i bet they'd be pissed at me for wasting time discussing anything

@darksideofyay Much data is for me something > 1 Terabyte....

... Which shouldn't be possible in Excel?

@IntrusionCM I don't think there's anything that big, but our servers are also really tiny. that's half of the reason why we're migrating actually. we have 4 regular pcs being used as servers (relics from a different era). because of the company's policies we also have to move everything to the big server, we just didn't do it before due to lack of access, time and resources

@darksideofyay

*makes a flower crown for you as his responsibility as a summer child*

That's just sad.

But I guess your hardware is then a craptastic piece of shit -.-

Very very very sad.

@IntrusionCM the hardware really isn't enough for the proportion our work took, but the database is also crap. what could be a tinyint is declared as float. numbers stored as varchar. one thousand tables with the same data. scripts that delete and copy the data to each of those tables. stupid views.

the thing that broke me today was a table with one column and two lines. that's not a table, that's two variables