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IntrusionCM12767168dYou identify yourself with the problem.
Which is a dangerous thing and an absolute no go.
Stop smoking, it only gets worse.
Seek therapy if possible, so you have a neutral person as a safety net.
What to do to stop identifying yourself with a problem?
Set up boundaries. Work fixed shifts, no overtime. If job is done, job IS done. No "just a lil bit of extra time".
Get a hobby and integrate it into the time plan. If you stop working at 17 o clock, start whatever hobby you have at 17.30 o clock.
Rituals. It will become a ritual. Once it became an ritual, it will be the boundary and the thing that keeps your brain from even thinking about work. Be it knitting, cooking, running, going to the supermarket...
Fast-Nop40251168dOne easy way is getting some sleep after work, like an hour or so. That works wonders to reset your mind.
atheist7588168dADHD representing. I climb 3 evenings a week, they're fairly fixed events in my calendar, so that helps. I don't do on call. I think wfh has very much blurred the lines between work and home. My first job, we were a small company, small office with desktops, the building closed at 6 (I specifically didn't want a key so I didn't work late on my own).
Your memory may not be great, but you're not other people. Don't compare yourself to them. I'm an awesome problem solver, good at remembering the high level shape of a system and making connections between different parts of it, can root cause a problem quickly.
atheist7588168dAlso, ADHD comes with RSD, hyper sensitivity to rejection, sounds like you're dealing with.
darkwind1438168dI just don't think it is important.
I am in similar shoes
Of coding in a really big code base
And required to ask like
I just learn code first by drawing its architecture picture
Carefully rereading specs thrice and getting all info I can on my own
If I can't get required info on my own, I ask those questions without hesitations.
If I missed coding something, it just means something slipped through those two layers of seeking info
I know that I did everything, and it would be QA tested and code reviewed anyway, do I just feel calm.