my boss is apparently upset that i don't turn his way when he enters the room, something about hierarchy and respecting authority. while that's a petty bs thing to be upset about, I'm not very good with social cues and conflicts with authority figures trigger me due to past events.

I can't help wonder if this demand for a show of respect is gender biased. it hasn't escaped me that all the people he has an issue with are women and he has a history of chasing his female workers away.

idk, i just don't want to do this shit again. it would really help to have a female perspective on this.

  • 13
    If there's a documented history, chances are likely that HR is prepared to walk him out the backdoor.

    Bide your time and document everything he does against you and your coworkers, male and female.

    HR just LOVES it when someone can show verifiable and documented proof of shit like this.
  • 8
    @sariel while i think it's possible to get rid of him if i wanted to, it's not really a fight i wanna start. the office is not kind to people that speak up. if i do it, I'll become a pariah and be forced to leave right after him. and like i said, so far it's petty bs, it looks petty too if i go after stuff this small. the stuff he did in the past was much worse and they didn't kick him out
  • 6
    That sounds fucked up...
  • 12
    Ugh, gross.
    I absolutely hate people who demand special attention like that.
  • 7
    You're supposed to turn at and salute the human entering after someone shouts "officer in the deck!". But unless you are onboard some ship I don't think it applies. And whoever demands it is just an entitled asshole.
    So I'm just adding another ++ on @Root 's perspective, I guess.
  • 11
    I'm gonna tell you what I do when people do this sort of thing.

    I look at them and then i wave at them and i keep waving. And waving
    And waving. Until they stop interpreting it as a greeting.

    Or I turn to them and stare at them. Full body turn. You got to do it long enough that they physically stop and make eye contact.

    And I'm mean *everytime*. No talking. No saying hi. Just turn, full body.

    And keep doing it even when they ask you to stop. Trust me, full frontal attention is aggregating even to the people that seem to want it. Do it enough, and they can and will ask you to stop. Minimize answers to yes/no responses.

    Look at them as if they are as interesting as paint drying. And soon theyll get the message.

    If they ask you why, you pause and *then reply. "I'm paying attention."

    Then continue without further explanation. Until they ask "why".


    Generally I've learned the best way to annoy people is to give them what they ask for *good and HARD*.
  • 2
    That's BS lol. Find another company to work for
  • 3
    @darksideofyay I am so sorry you need to put up with this bullshit in 2022.
  • 4
    Yeah, this is a pretty out-dated thing. In the past, especially in communist countries this was normal. Possibly because taking part in frequent wars and conflicts demanded discipline from everyone.

    These days I'd say this is complete bullshit and not a valid social cue anymore. People don't deserve respect for free, and even if you deem them respectable that doesn't mean not jumping into attention is disrespect.

    This is a stupid conflict to start and honestly I'd just ignore it. I'd just say "Well, It's not disrespect, It's just me" no point in justifying anything. Im not going to explain myself to stupid prompts. Last time I checked you can't be fired for being a bad fit ourside of the probation period.

    You can look for a new job if you're into that kind of thing or if you're fed up with it. I never been in this situation so idk how annoying it is, but sounds pretty annoying
  • 7
    ”The office is not kind to people that speak up. I’ll become a pariah […]”

    That in itself is a good enough reason to start looking for a new job. It’s a fucked up toxic environment and you can do better.
  • 7
    Not a female. But how about showing him how petty it is giving him exactly what he asked for?

    If your coleagues agree with you that his behaviour is pathetic, agree with them that every time he enters a room the first person who sees him says [quite loud]: "the manager has entered the room. Now everybody let's turn towards him to give him respect he WANTS" and everybody turns towards him and stares quietly. And do that same thing every time he enters. If he gets annoyed and asks why/what you're doing, tell him that you heard him well the last time he spoke about [lack of] respect and you've agreed in the team it's the best way to fulfil his wish: inform everyone in the room when is the time to do so so noone else gets scolded for not noticing him.

    That should look super nice esp when a client or his manager is in the room 😁
  • 9
    Pretty sure you should increase the MaliciousCompliance idea pool....

    You can also salute and hold, until released. Put "repecting the Manager" for 15 min a day in your time reports, and spend at least 10 minutes a day, asking the manager for his latest great ideas.
  • 6
    @magicMirror and replace "Manager" with "our Great Leader".
  • 6
    That is an utterly ridiculous expectation on his part. I hope he gets fired or you can find a better job.
  • 3
  • 2
    With great power comes...

    Lets see what happens now.
  • 2
    How did you get internet in North Korea?

    @theKarlisK it's called supreme leader. And if Kim Jong-un comes to visit the factory he might either kill all the workers or but more likely the manger for taking his title.
  • 3
    @darksideofyay sounds like he is protected by the culture. Only way's to beat is to change the culture of let the culture die (with the company for example. A polished scandal is always nice).

    What is going on here is both petty and disrespectful in my culture.

    Passive aggressiveness can work but might also backfire. It takes work and dedication to destroy a culture like that.
    Try to work undetected as much as possible but be ready for some flack.
  • 0
    @hjk101 I heard he doesnt have a butthole.
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