I thrown up blood yesterday, maybe I'm finally dying of natural causes

Naah, it's probably just an ulcer, caused by strong coffee drunk on an empty stomach :)

you'll live. Your suffering here has merely started

@netikras i wanna die

@Manuch One needs to fear death in order to die otherwise they will live forever. It sounds to me like you do not fear death.

@GiddyNaya I embrace death, I've been looking for ways to die for most of my life, now I just have to wait for natural causes to take control

@Manuch What other options have you tried besides death?

I want to assume you have challenging issues making death your final option but I care to know what the challenge is and what other options you have tried before now?

@GiddyNaya I tried different psychiatrics, two of them told me they didn't want my money and to recover in a mental illness center. One gave me prescribed pills that I'm taking since march the 11th, that I think are doing nothing for the mood and are the cause of the bleeding in my stomach.
I told this doctor about this blood yesterday night but he doesn't care, he told me not to worry because it was fresh blood.
I'm happy to die without everyone hating me because I had to kill myself, I hope I don't have to wait anymore too much

@Manuch Don't trust them pills, they are shit ( not all but they don't give the good ones to anyone ;) ). If your mood is the problem there is a natural sulutions too, but it really depends on your condition. I'm dev, not a psychiatrist, so take my words with grain of coca if you have, otherwise salt works too ;)

@Manuch Everyone does not hate you and they also don't care much about others but themselves.

Why?

Because they also have their own demons they need to deal with and you probably are unaware of.

@Sid2006 yeah every few years someone kills themself on a famous bridge in my town, but I'm not sure the fall is high enough, gotta be sure

You case sounds like you willingly want help and also have people who are willing to help but for some reason they have challenges keeping up their care but all is good.

When my dad died I got so depressed because life literally lost all meaning to me that I saw no use of doing anything was just fed up. I asked myself so many questions, like okay what next my dad is the only one I could love and he is gone so what next, probably nothing I thought.

But hell man, I was wrong because the reality is that these behaviours are just the outcome of hormone changes in the body that can sometimes be totally out of our control because now I feel better and also met good people who has shown better that life isn't that bad after all.

@Sid2006 finally someone not giving me the usual don't do it bla bla, just help me, thank you for your honesty, I really appreciate it, I'll let you know, thank you

@Manuch You're not the first one I've said things like this to. I had a cousin who didn't have a dad. He had only his sister and mother as direct family...

His business wasn't going too well so he threatened to end his life over it in front of me.

I point blank grabbed his neck and start to choke him and after he resisted I told him this is how your mother and sister would feel like each day.

The world doesn't need me or you or anyone for that matter. You think life is easy, then go fuck yourself.

I feel obligated to say: if you feel suicidal or depressed, contact the suicide hotline or discuss the issue with family or a trained therapist. Don't let it get the better of you, life is not sunshine everyday but the gist of it is good and worth continuing for.

@Sid2006 this is sadly the truth.

Anyone can threatening. You don't need fear or other emotions to do that.

I have been in same situations. From remarks like 'I would rape that girl' and just reply 'then go do it. She is right there...'

Then their mind changes to ooh but no way I can do that. Because family, jail... So why the fuck do you think stuff like that ?

@Manuch, some pills can help others don't. Just keep talking about the struggles.

well ending is just stupid. your future you will thank you for not ending your life. it is irresponsible to let the future you not live itself. so keep it up!

where are you from

Mood

but seriously @Manuch where are you from

get your liver checked my man, that shit is painful , hope you get better

@Manuch before you do the thing, quit ur job and fuck around and travel a bit and just stop doing the things that make you feel like shit. I feel like that helps me. Like fuck this I’m going someplace else bruh

Are you still alive? If not, congrats!

@chonky-quiche I think a depressed person won't travel

@bigmonsterlover

Had both.

Ulcers hurt. Kidney stones hurt more than childbirth. (And I've had 4, they hurt more than childbirth, confirmed by people who had both)

And maybe it was not clear. Kidney stones hurt more than childbirth which hurts more than ulcers.

@bigmonsterlover

Oof.

My condolences.

@retoor i don’t think your helping anyone

Sending love ♥️