How is one supposed to deal with the burnout - depression - imposter syndrome trifecta? ...

Firstly and most importantly *NOT ON YOUR OWN*!

I've read some of your historical rants, and if I recall you have a huge amount of stress in your job and a complex home environment. These circumstances are not sustainable for *anyone*.

Start with someone - anyone - you trust, be they a partner, friend, colleague, professional medical person or even someone on the phone. Just start somewhere.

Best option go to the shrink. Get some pills and therapy before it gets any worse. I'm speaking from my own experience.
Burnout while on university, depression, strong anxiety, suicidal thoughts. Imposter syndrome all​ the time, no matter how much effort I put in completing the task.

Now I'm on medication against bipolar and depression and taking minimal doses of ADD/ADHD meds. Been thru therapy.

If you want to talk more about this, I can give you my hg or telegram.

Stay strong and get support ;')

It's important to vent your emotions and not trap them inside.

My personal experience is, if you trap them inside they become increasingly volatile and empower one another.

A shrink will probably be a good start for depression & imposter syndrome,
Burn-out is (afaik), only treatable through easing your load.

Again, stay strong.

Speak to your partner I went through a tough time, my old man was seriously ill for over a year before he died, we had baby number two. I was struggling to make ends meet bailing us out using a credit card. I had a one day meltdown told my wife everything and together we fixed it, I didn’t want to burden her with my problems because being old school in my head a man deals with problems without sharing . But what it actually did was give me relief from my problems someone to help.

It’s ok to ask for help. I’m 6 months on from my meltdown point and life has never been better.

Good luck with your issues

I would like to know the answer to it too because I don't have one. Good Question though.

I suppose it's individual, but I'd advice you to avoid meds as far as there are other alternatives. Someone I know was described a med after another, and all pills just made her more crazy.

@TerriToniAX With all due respect, that is very dangerous advice and should be given only by a trained medical professional. Anecdotes of how one person or another is affected by meds or no meds is nothing to base a treatment plan on.

There are many and varied types of meds for the many and varied conditions which can cause what @Ashkin is currently going through. We are not the people to give medical advice. We can say how we manage our loads or stresses, but we're in no position to recommend what they do or don't do medically.

I'm going to be unconventional​ here and if you can't visit a therapist and like to do things on your own I would recommend the cognitive behavioral approach.

The Work by Byron Katie is a totally free tool based on CBT. If you fill in the 1 page easy questionnaire and answer 4 questions you will feel instant relief about what was bothering you. This works!

http://thework.com/en/do-work#jyn

The CBT Workbook for depression helped me out of all of my recent depression episodes. I didn't even had to go trough all of it, just the starting exercises. I was out of my episodes in 2-3 days

http://b-ok.org/book/1003597/b1c4c1

You can also find it on Amazon

With these techniques I feel instant relief and that's how I know they work. Have your own litmus test. See what works

Since you are in burnout, there has to be rest away from what's causing you stress. Be open about it with people around you so they can lessen the burden at home and dedicate your rest to focus and work on yourself.

@CrankyOldDev You're absolutely right about us not being trained medical professionals. When you say that this advice is dangerous, I think thank that you exaggerate though. @Ashkin asked a question and anyone is free to share their exprerience, right Ashkin? But, if you want professional advice from trained medicals then devrant is probably not the right forum. Is there a medirant perhaps? ;)

NoFap & No PMO. You might think it's funny but it's ok. It changed my life. My energy is put into passion and I spend my time thinking on more important things that nothing is left for the unnecessary.

@nikolatesla What is NoFap & No PMO?

the teachers here keep repeating to get enough sleep

@runfrodorun @TerriToniAX Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying meds are magical and the whole answer. CBT/talking and situational changes are all factors. I think enough of us have suffered various types of depression to understand the complexities and variations and to know that individual treatments will be made up differently. Perhaps we're reading too much into it all, but it does sound like @Ashkin may need to consider something.

I don't want this to be an argument between us or about us and our views. I simply want @Ashkin to take the approach that's right for them. Depending on their current condition, meds may be a part (but only ever a part) of the way forward and to advise that they should avoid meds for no reason other than "they didn't help my friend" is, and I use the word deliberately, dangerous.

No criticisms intended towards anyone. We just need to be careful how are words can be picked up and interpreted on things like this - me included.

I often have the same issues. I was prescribed medication long ago that I still take that helps (30mg of paxil a day )

However that's not the full solution by any means. Spending time "unwinding" from work is critical, as is quality time with my spouse. (even though I'm an introvert)

Emotional support of someone whose willing to listen to you vent even if they don't fully understand is important. (when I talk about the technical side of work my wife basically nods her head and says okay)

Most importantly, you need something that reminds you of your value as a human being outside of the work you do for the company. A reminder that you are enough.

And you ARE enough. You do have value, and there are people around you like your child and partner that love you. And when you just need to know your wit and humor are valued, devrant.io is here for you as well.

@CrankyOldDev That's why I added the clause *as far as there are other alternatives*. The person I'm telling about is close to me so I've seen up close the side effects of psychiatric medication and that my friend is dangerous for real. A depression is not like some sorts of cancer that you must treat medically or the patient will die. IMHO, unless a depressed person is about to hurt themselves or others, the cure can be more dangerous than the disease. The pills actually made my friend aggressive. Therefore, I think - and this is of course my own uneducated opinion - psychiatric medication should be the last resort when you've tried everything else.

I've been to psychiatrist. She wasn't much interested. So I thought maybe I'm exaggerating it and things are normal. So I quit going there. After almost a year, I'm still miserable. I'm having mood swings. I am almost always frustrated. I can't talk to my family, I tried but they are mostly busy with their own challenges. My friends are busy in tv serials. They think I've a good package salary, what else do you want in life. Obviously, I don't have a gf. I quit my last job, got a new one recently after 4 months gap. I'm and was confused as what to do. My inner confidence is into pieces. I can't talk even in team meetings. Can't approach girls as knowing I'll be kicked, either today or tomorrow.

I don't want to go to any spiritual Gurus, they talk very hi-fi things. Also people who are like they have figured it out all. They just don't fucking listen to you. Other than that, I really have no option. Programming interests me a lot, so I am all in it with whatever I can.

@Ashkin, if you find any solution, please let me know. Pretty please.

@brettmoan Good for you that the medication works :) I think that you have some really good points here. A key to well-being might be to have a balance in life, to dedicate suitable amounts of time for work, family and yourself. That's easier said than done, I know. I'm no expert on this myself.

@thatJavaGuy Therapists are like any other people. You can connect with somebody and other times there is no way in hell. Some are good at their job, some suck. People find their therapists maybe on their 3rd try. I found mine on the second.

I would recommend Emotive behavior therapy or Integrative therapy. These fields include a lot of presence and listening from the therapist. Seems like you have deeper troubles (like I had) and even a Gestalt therapist can help you, though I would recommend this approach for strong individuals (sounds counterintuitive, but it's true).

In the end, the technique doesn't​ matter. What matters is that you form an initial connection with your therapist. Seek out recommendations​ for therapists from other people - they will point you the​ right way.

Your state sounds a lot like mine before I started therapy and I'm telling you can have a much better quality and clarity of life.

@mt3o advising people to just go get pills is horrible advice.

Copious amounts of alcohol

@CyberpunkZ3r0 Advising ppl to go to see a doctor /therapist is dangerous somehow?
Psychiatrist should decide with you what to take. I know what suits me, and feel free to share​ it with anyone.
Honestly, having issues with yourself and doing nothing with them is far more dangerous than getting a therapy.
In most countries pills like this are available only by prescription. I just can't imagine self-medication with anything else than alcohol and drugs like meth or, at best, Adderall. And that's dangerous. But being diagnosed - is not.

@mt3o @CyberpunkZ3r0 @TerriToniAX

Meds have their place and should be administratored by a medical professional and only under their advise. Some benefit some don't and brain chemistry is a extremely complex science that no one in this thread is qualified to advise on.

In all cases however, simply self-medicating(alcohol, tobacco, and other legalized "recreational" drugs) is never a good idea.

Human emotions and psychology is much more complex and inconsistent than computers and they have no man page.

@TerriToniAX this depends on the drugs and how you react to them. It's common for antidepressant pills to 'cause' suicidal behavior. If you want to end your life and feel powerless, that's a problem when thanks to pills you stop feeling powerless.
Each type of pills (substance, and quite often the brand) to have different influence on people. I heard quite a lot that popular prozac causes people to be irritated and aggressive. On me - it had no effect. My friend solved his anxiety problems with prozac. So, you know, this depends and it's up to your and you to find the best combination of pills. In the meantime you should have therapy with a psychologist or therapist.

Regarding effects of the pills, imagine amphetamine, how do people react to it. And think that Adderall, used to treat ADHD, is basically amphetamine.

From my experience, against my depression, a stabilizer was best hit. Lamotrygine, if you want to google (I encourage you to!).

Mental issues are serious problems and living undiagnosed makes your life (and your family's life) miserable. And, with time, it's getting worse. That's my experience.

@brettmoan exactly!

@mt3o Agreed. Sadly some of them can never be healed ☹️

Tho there therapy that should at least make it better

@TerriToniAX bet yes, I agree with @CrankyOldDev that your advise to avoid medication entirely is certainly ill-advised. Some people are helped greatly by them, especially "selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors" (SSRIs) like Paxil which literally are designed to simple increase the amount of serotonin in the brain

These normally have a pretty low impact in most individuals and are usually low risk. They also come in various dosages so as to gradually ease individuals on and off of them.

I've personally been greatly benefited from this and have a better life because of this medicine, however it's not the "only" in my life that has improved my quality life, it is a critical component but not my full treatment. I also greatly benefited from cognitive therapy which taught me copying skills and how to reframe negative self-doubting thoughts into more constructive ones.

It took me alot of time to think about my basic premises of life and have a better outlook on life.

@Froot I'd advise against alcoholism as the solution 😞. I don't judge those that slip into that as their choice of escape, but in the end many people lose more than they gain. Alcohol makes you stupider and it's harder to be sad when you stupider cause you care less about most things. (not the whole explanation of the effect just part of it)

Part of the risks associated with alcohol is that like any other mind altering chemical it's effects relative to a dosage, however unlike prescription medication, there is no "dosage".

@brettmoan Well that comment was meant more as a joke anyway 😊

Tho I don't agree with alcohol instantly make you dumber. I mean in the long run if you drink alot, of course. But if you have a beer or 2 on a Friday then there's no problem.

Just curious here, you abstain from alcohol yourself?

@Froot haha true, I was over generalizing. Though alcohol does slow your bodily functions in general. I won't pretend to have an expertise in the biochemistry of it, but it is generally accepted knowledge that even minor amounts of alcohol (a couple beers) can be enough to lower an individuals reaction time and general cognitive capacity to have most countries prohibited you from operating heavy machiner (such
As an automobile). One also loses a lot of inhibitions (don't drink and text) leading to decisions one may otherwise not make long.

I haven't had an alcoholic drink since early 2009. I was drinking fairly regularly in 2007/2008 as I was self medicating against undiagnosed depression/anxiety. I was never formally diagnosed with depression/anxiety until early 2010 at which point my quality of life significantly improved via individual cognitive therapy, increased social interactions, better sleep habits and 20mg/day of Paxil.

@brettmoan Well obviously it affects you when you're drunk 😄 What I meant was long term effects.

Anyway, glad you got over your problems 😊

Alcohol addicts should be treated involuntarily when the addict becomes violent. I have a family history of alcohol abuse, with a family member. He said he should beat me because "im a drug addict". He tried, I moved out, he is sentenced with a probation period. Still don't know how I could be addicted, but you'll never understand drunk man and how delusions.

After that I just can't drink alcohol.

@mt3o Ye. Nothing justifies initiating violence. Nothing.

Stay strong. Care less for the opinion of others.
Meditate if need be. Remind yourself that you're doing this for yourself, this is your life.

Do not listen to the people that tell you to take pills. We all know those people who address the medicine as some kind of a magic solution. It never works.

Just stay strong and sane, take a break, do something else for a while. Look at the things from the right perspective.

@Noob if it's several medical professionals, you should probably probably listen, but certainly not just random people in the Internet

@brettmoan "your advise to avoid medication entirely is certainly ill-advised".
Yes, that would be a bad advice if I hade advised to avoid medication *entirely*, but that is not what I meant. All I'm saying is that medication should be the last resort if there is no other treatment that helps. At their best, meds cure the symptoms, not the disease.

@TerriToniAX medication is not a "last resort" and should certainly be used well before many other things. Your classification of stating that it should be a "last resort" is not only harmful but offensive. It suggests that "nothing else would work" or that "someone was beyond acceptable normal help"

The stigma against medical anti-anxiety and anti-depressant medications is extremely annoying and counter productively to a healthy discussion about mental health. Medications that alter the mental state vary in strengths as much as as pain kills vary in strengths.

I'd advise against taking morphine except under "extreme circumstances" but I wouldn't ever think to compare it in dangerousness to asprin. Yet at their core they both are considered pain killers.

This is why we have doctors, don't try to do their job.

Every chemical has known effects. Each should be used with prudence, pragmatic study and consideration.

@karakamen thanks mate. I'm not sure how can I find one here in India. I'm also not sure whom to ask. I'll check online. It's better to ask strangers than known person. :-)

@brettmoan I can't see how we're helping @Ashkin by this debate. Can we just conclude this discussion by agreeing that we disagree, OK? :)

@mt3o True, it is very individual, as I said too. As for my friend, she's reacted strongly to every med she's taken, even the mildest one. One med actually made her a bit happier, almost like drunk, the first time she took it, but the second time she got just as crazy as with all the other meds. It seems that she's extremely sensitive to any pill and I doubt that any of her problems can be fixed by medication. Thanks for the tip though, I'll forward it to her.

@brettmoan Ah, after giving your a comment a second thought I see why you find my point of view offensive. You think that if medication is a "last resort" then that would mean that everything else has *failed*? No no no, that's not at all what I meant. I might have expressed myself clumsily, but what I meant by "last resort" is that you must investigate all possible other treatments *first*. Then, even successful treatment can possibly be combined with proper medication to improve or speed up the effect. I believe that we agree that meds alone are not a cure?

Let me clarify that I am *not* some sort of anti-meds, anti-doctor, anti-vaccine, anti-science sort of person, quite the contrary. I'm not trying to do the doctors' job, but I give a healthy doubt about if they are doing theirs. Prescribing a medicine is such a convenient way to deal with a patient instead of treating the underlying causes of their illness. Docs are not gods and meds are not magic.

@Noob So you're saying that pills are bad for you but meditation is legit? The first having been proven by hard science and the other being some alternative medicine thing. I don't say meditatsioon is shite, what I am saying is that I'd trust stuff that I know has been researched by scientists before I trust stuff some new age guru recommends.

@brettmoan Yes, of course. I'm not saying she should ignore a doctor's advice. :)

@Froot You misunderstood me. I'm full on with science and against bullshit.
What I meant is that she shouldn't take advice from people who's nature is to abuse pills and etc.
And by meditation I meant to sit and relax, thinking about what is important and why we are doing what we do. Not some spiritual marijuana session.

Peace yo!

@Noob Ah right. My bad then. Ye I agree with you there

The obstacle is the way - Ryan holiday
It's about stoic philosophy.
A practical and usefull paradigm, it helped me alot to reduce stress.

"What stands in the way, becomes the way"