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My ex-boss, a self proclaimed dev, used to click on a folder on Windows, then right click, then click Open.8
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Lord forgive me for laughing too hard at this person/situation... I kid you NOT!
So today while everything was going well, we suddenly had network issues at work. We worked to get everything back up online asap and then sent out an email for those affected to either restart their machines or refresh their desktops but we recommend restarting... After some few client calls, this special call came in..
Riiing, riiiiiing, ring....
Me: hi, how can help you?
Client: *laughing.. This is probably a stupid question but I forgot how to "refresh" my desk top..the thing is, I have Febreeze but I don't think that's for desk tops.
Me: Wait, what? 🤔 Febreeze for what?😕
Client: You guys sent an email to refresh our desk tops and I said I have Febreeze so how will that get my things in the computer back to show again?
Me: Ohhh, no no. We meant your computer desktop. You don't need Febreeze. Right click anywhere on your computer in the screen and select refresh from the pop up menu. We meant your computer "desktop" not your actual "desk top".
Client: *starts laughing...I told you it was a stupid question
Me: don't worry.. It wasn't stupid.
After I hang up, some of my team members asked me why someone is asking about Febreeze...I told them and they all started laughing hysterically
I was still trying to digest the conversation I had just have on the phone. 😂😂😂12 -
Overheard this phone conversation:
"So I have to use Internet explorer since it is the only one that supports JavaScript.
I had to upgrade Java to use it, and now it has to be internet explorer, not even Chrome or Firefox supports JavaScript."
I honestly wanted to punch her in the face.9 -
So my school forced everyone to buy a Chromebook G4 Education Edition which came with ChromeOS and we had to sign some shady e-policy. Days after I got it, I opened it up and manually reflashed the BIOS so I could use SeaBIOS and install Arch Linux.
Great, so I went on to instal Chrome and it was really slow and performance heavy, then I installed the new Firefox and it ran a lot faster...
*So hehe, Firefox works better than Chrome on a Chromebook!*9 -
I got my wife pregnant despite birth control being used... You could say she *puts on sunglasses* failed the penetration test.
I'll see myself out.14 -
wk87 is a dangerous topic for me, i've been through a lot. I apologise for what I am about to inflict on this network over the coming week.
Most incompetent co-worker, candidate 1, "T".
T was an embedded C developer who talked openly about how he's been writing code since he was 14, knew all the C system libraries and functions like the back of his hand. For the most part, he did ... but not how to actually use them, as (based on his shocking ... well everything) he was inflicted by some sort of brain disorder not yet fully understood by medical science. Some highlights:
- Myself and the CTO spent 4 days teaching him what a circle buffer was and how to build one.
- His final circle buffer implementation had about 3 times as much code as he actually needed.
- When the code was running too slowly on the device, we didn't try find any performance improvements, or debug anything to see if there was anything taking too long. No not with T, T immediately blamed TCP for being inefficient.
- After he left we found a file called "TCP-Light" in his projects folder.
- He accused the CTO of having "violent tendencies" because he was playing with a marker tossing it up in the air and catching it.
- He once managed to leave his bank statements, jumper and TROUSERS in the bathroom and didn't realise until a building wide email went out.
- He once .... no hang on, seriously his fucking trousers, how?
- He accused us all of being fascists because we gave out to him for not driving with his glasses, despite the fact his license says he needs to (blind as a bat).
... why were his trousers off in the first place? and how do you forget ... or miss the pile of clothes and letters in a small bathroom.
Moving on, eventually he was fired, but the most depressing thing of all about T, is that he might not even be top of my list.
Tune in later for more practiceSafeHex's most incompetent co-worker!!!11 -
Visited my parents again today!
Arrived home.
Suddenly my sister starts to talk about the new dutch mass surveillance law and how it's all bad and the possible consequences.
😶😐😮
Normally I'm the one who says that and is told to shut up after a while.
I'm a proud brother!21 -
Website: "your ad blocker's on, consider adding us to your white list..."
Me: *inspect element*
Me: *Delete modal*
*Insert montage of me hacking into the mainframe for dramatic purposes*
I'm in. 😎21 -
This feeling when you post question to Stackowerflow but nobody replies cause the issues which you have is uncommon and not as popular as some hot frameworks, or simple setup issies.4
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!rant
Some of my friends and me stayed the night in a small house. Everyone except me drank beer and now they are all sleeping while I am sitting right next to the socket in a corner listening to music and reading through the documentation of java.
This describes my life pretty well. -
Right hand working on that "billion dollar" website idea of mine; Left hand holding our 4month baby who won't sleep when put down!!!!6