Happened just now:
Client: Please remove this page from the site ASAP, and tell me when its done.
Me: Done
Client: what's wrong am getting an error code(404) when I click on the link.

Am not sure how to reply to that

When your vending machine throws an unhandled exception...

My 6 year old has been learning about trees at school, and had questions for me. Needless to say, she now has the best understanding of data structures in her class, and I expect parents evening will be "interesting"

Her: Why do you need 3 monitors??
Me: Why do you need 6 bags on the hanger, permanently, and 23 pairs of shoes?
Her: :/

Favorite dev tool? My keyboard. I don't like coding without my keyboard, it's a very important tool.

Uncle: I need a app for my company.

Me: Sure. What for?

Uncle: Managing my employees on the fly.

Me: So you need a backend, server cost around 20$ month.

Uncle: hmm ok I talk to you next time.

This happens literally with everyone that asks me for a App :/

There are 10 types of people in the world. Those who understand binary and those who get laid.