Simple hack to cure depression:

1. Toast a couple of fat ass slices of homemade sourdough bread
2. Slather it with a large amount of butter
3. Top it off with some of your mom’s homemade jam
4. Compliment it with a nice cup o’ joe

Sadness gone 🤌🤌🤌

alternatively, dark chocolate

@jestdotty on this one, i gotta completely agree with you.

dark choc (above 75% cocoa) is best choc. closely followed by white choc. with milk choc barely keeping up to the field.

@tosensei I'm still too much of a child. To me the best choc is milky. Kinder being the ultimate best

Just so long as it's not American chocolate. Tastes like it's already been eaten by somebody else.

And share it with random old lady

@jestdotty kratom

@retoor that shit is dangerous lol

@jestdotty Am I doing it correctly by eating ≥100g ≥90% chocolate per day? Is it normal to poop like @b2plane?

@donkulator "american [whatever]" is terrible in general.

i especially have to think of american "cheese"..... *shudders

My mom is dead, what do I do?

There's a lot that has to fall into place before this hack can come true

@tosensei I just found out that my favourite dark chocolate is only 36% cocoa, 1% over the minimum amount to be classified as dark. I feel so deceived, and a fraud.

@jestdotty i'd be more worried about the sugar, though, even with dark choc.

caffeine, on the other hand, basically makes up 5% of my bloodstream

@jestdotty 500g sugar a day? seems a bit excessive - is this an actual number, or a gut feeling?

the numbers i found are more in the 100g-range.

@retoor imma take a phat dose tonight tho fml

@tosensei hey man don’t knock American cheese - live in the city and u will understand

@lungdart sorry again man

@ScriptCoded the journey is wholesome either way tho

@shovethisrant don't worry about it. I bet most people's moms are dead thanks to the boomers.

@jestdotty I’ve gotten fat over them subway bad boys

@shovethisrant i don't intend to ever submit myself to human cage-system housing.

so please, try to explain it why american "cheese" shouldn't be mocked.

@tosensei that is by far the cringiest thing you have ever said.

Btw have u ever had a breakfast sandwich from a deli that has lots of bacon, egg, and American cheese with a lil ketchup/mayo and salt/pepper with a side of chips and a shitty coffee on a bright crispy morning at 7 am right as you are about to head to work? And all the hundreds of people walk by and have their own stuff to do and lil morning thoughts in their head listening to their podcasts. By far the most beautiful shit you will ever witness with your eyes and tastebuds bitch.

@shovethisrant what's so cringy about wanting to have clean air around you, no noise, no shittons of other people, and housing that the average person can actually afford that is actually worth living in?

also: no. i hate (american) bacon. it's the most boring, least tasty part of the pig.

for my breakfast,i prefer some actual food, with some actual good coffee and aview that doesn't consist of concrete, stressed people and failed existences.

@tosensei who hurt you? Did someone call you a “pompous douchebag” and you never forgot it and decided to be a total recluse?

This picture sounds a lot like you right now:

@shovethisrant counter-question: who hurt you that make you believe that "calories-barely-qualifying as food" and "lots of car exhausts and pigeonshit" seem like the preferable option? ;)

also: no. it was "pompous buffoon". "douchebag" is much too vulgar, i don't usually travel in those circles 🧐

@tosensei I don’t think anyone prefers the negatives of any environment, and I’m sure most if not all are fully aware of the downsides of it and wish it to be not so. It’s a trade off like anything…