Upwork in a nutshell

  • 0
    In amongst the muck, there must be some gems (projects/customers) surely?
  • 20
    *turns on laptop*
    That will be all sir, please pay me my 5$
  • 0
    Its not like theres tons of filters, its not upworks fault that people try to migrate from fiverr.
  • 0
  • 41
    1. Join hip startup.
    2. Present yourself as senior agile scrum expert with 16 years of VueJs and 12 years of Kotlin experience, demand insane pay.
    3. Do nothing but play tabletennis, drink weird colored smoothies and "recentering your focus" in a beanbag chair.
    4. Tell them after a few months of watching Julia, Crystal and Elm tutorials on YouTube that the company needs to pivot and do something with cloud AI services and blockchains.
    5. Move on to watching Erlang and Rust tutorials. Tell company they need to utilize adversarial convolutional generative neutral nets to get a grip on target audience, and switch their blockchains to proof of stake.
    6. Switch to vegan smoothies and grow a beard. Learn to like the taste of investor cock, it's not so bad with some organic vegetable chips and gluten free banana bread.
    7. Demand a raise, because you have a beard.
    8. Build a rooftop office garden, and buy an electric tricycle.
    9. I forgot where I was going with this. Profit. I think.
  • 5
    @bittersweet the fucking 6th point made me lose it
  • 4
    @bittersweet I had to scroll up to upvote
  • 5
    @Sirhennihau you can double tap on comments (and rants) to upvote. I still scroll up to make sure it got upvoted, tho.
  • 1
    @shellbug Good to know, thanks. Just tested it :p
  • 4
    @bittersweet sounds like a plot for a season of silicon valley 😂
  • 5
    @speedForce Silicon valley is PG13 compared to the average week at the office where I work.
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