If you have messy and disgusting desk, messy and disgusting car, pretty sure your code is messy and disgusting as well.

Sincerely,

Your team who is fed up with maintaining your shitty code

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I think messy and disgusting should be differentiated. Messy is not really harmful to others, but if you grow a bacteria-colony in unwashed coffee cup for 6 months, or have rotting food on your desk, that's another thing.

My code is disgusting because the requirements are disgusting

My table is washed, but my equipment looks messy placed for the unprofessional eye. It is highly efficient for me. But my table is not disgusting. I clean it basicly daily. I have alot of meetings todo that xD

I keep my desk just disgusting enough other people wont touch it, but not disgusting enough I wont touch it.

The biggest mess I have is napkins. I keep napkins from lunch on my desk stacked somewhat neatly. It really comes in handy when sneezing or spilling coffee.

My code is disgusting because I use all my power keeping the others in check

This is jumping to conclusions and drawing irrelevant guesses

You can bet some of the most tidy programmers live in a dump, and some of the worst coders live in amazing photogenic homes

This is the type of ”simplified persona” idea that was suggested 40 years ago but never works. For example thinking ”Bob is opinionated at work so he must also be the most loud guy at parties” when Bob is just a tech expert who is only loud when it’s about tech and otherwise is silent