For a moment I thought work laptop died because the screen suddenly went pitch black but it was just Windows deciding it was a good time to update graphics drivers. It crashed the emulator I was running btw.

Doesn't it let you set the time for updates to like 1am or something?

I have pro and can completely disable driver updates and I also have all updates disabled. So even if an update slipped through it cannot update drivers. Windows update is notorious for putting on old shitty drivers. You need pro to control this for being able to set policy.