uhhh wtf i've slept 9 solid hours

this hasn't happened to me in like 6 years

I may have found the perfect drug cocktail for my brain inflammation, which incidentally works for my lifelong curse of insomnia I guess

my pupils are back to being big when I get these drugs right and I am so not used to being assaulted by my brain at all times. that's how my life used to be before I got sick. it's like smart person syndrome. I cease to see the actual world and just see 95% the associations of it in front of me... honestly I kind of liked seeing the actual physical world. isn't that strange? I always felt very weird, and like I was ADHD. problem is I think by hallucinating / through high imagination so I can't see what's in front of me and sort of "get lost" lol

and the other day I rejected someone because all my brain context loaded up some other activity so I didn't want to switch to their activity. that used to happen to me before my brain got empty. I feel so mean when I do that

how do I drive this thing