Hanlon's razor.

Never attribute to malice that which can be adequately explained by stupidity.

Sometimes it's both

I grew to so intensely hate that quote

I can tell you that being naive on these matters is quite hazardous to health and sanity

I might be chill with people but doesn't mean they're chill with me. I can ignore their malice all I want but eventually the consequences will slowly cascade until I can't carry the burden anymore

and yeah no don't give me none of that "they didn't mean it" bullshit. I can't even. they call that being an apologist, a rationalizer. an enabler.

I had a roommate for a while who practiced weaponized incompetence, got quite obvious since he practiced it on others he did not like and would tell me about it. to which I rolled my eyes yet remained naive that he would do it to me. best trick the devil ever pulled is making the world believe he didn't exist