Real chads aren't C devs.
Not Assembly ones.
Not R or Haskel, not Matlab.
Not Rust.

ITS FUCKING APL DEVS

Hum ok.

What about prolog though?

turing(Tape0, Tape) :-

perform(q0, [], Ls, Tape0, Rs),

reverse(Ls, Ls1),

append(Ls1, Rs, Tape).

perform(qf, Ls, Ls, Rs, Rs) :- !.

perform(Q0, Ls0, Ls, Rs0, Rs) :-

symbol(Rs0, Sym, RsRest),

once(rule(Q0, Sym, Q1, NewSym, Action)),

action(Action, Ls0, Ls1, [NewSym|RsRest], Rs1),

perform(Q1, Ls1, Ls, Rs1, Rs).

symbol([], b, []).

symbol([Sym|Rs], Sym, Rs).

action(left, Ls0, Ls, Rs0, Rs) :- left(Ls0, Ls, Rs0, Rs).

action(stay, Ls, Ls, Rs, Rs).

action(right, Ls0, [Sym|Ls0], [Sym|Rs], Rs).

left([], [], Rs0, [b|Rs0]).

left([L|Ls], Ls, Rs, [L|Rs]).

@antigermanist oo

APL is so irrelevant that Apple doesn't even bother suing it for that logo :)