Roommate: "Hey, man, uh, I know you use computers a lot or something; do you know off the top of your head how to use the touch screen on my computer?"

Me: "Uh, your laptop doesn't have a touch screen."

Roommate: "Yeah, but I thought you might know how to use it as a touchscreen."

Me: "...Your laptop does not have a touch screen."

I swear, this is the dumbest man I have ever come into contact with.

That'd be fine if this was a one-off type of thing, but he seriously has approx. 209.8 brain cells in total.

Once, with no argumentative basis, he told me that, if Mickey Mouse got enough votes as a write-in candidate, he could win the Presidency of the United States. I showed him Article II of our Constitution, and he said "why does that even matter here?"

Three more months, school'll be done, and I never have to see him again.

  • 13
    “Hold your finger to the screen, then move the cursor until it disappears under your finger, then click. Easy!”
  • 2
    I know about the electoral college and all that, but is there anything that specifically says the president has to be human? It wouldn't surprise me if they didn't, because they'd expect people to not be stupid.
  • 2
    @Orni Nevermind it uses the word "Persons"
  • -1
    @Orni The electoral college in itself is outdated and should be changed
  • 2
    There are ways to make something a touchscreen... But I doubt your guy was talking about one of em.


    I've seen a few of these things. There was a good one that used audio.
  • 1
    Hey buddy, not everyone lives in the USA, my article II doesn't mention that.
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