• 9
    yeah right
  • 7
    fuck it, im selling meth
  • 6
    * laughs in 3 competing offers *
  • 0
    This makes me appreciate my current employer. I am currently working evenings and weekends at my old job updating their code.
  • 6
    "Anything you build outside of work is ours"...

    I don't understand how some employers can even put a clause like that in the contract. That's fucking intellectual slavery.

    No I do not represent you outside of work hours. No any type of presentation, power point or piece of code I write outside of work is not the company's property.
    Now kindly fuck off.
  • 1
    The first part and the second (but with only 6 months) I had in one of my previous contracts, but I signed it anyway, cause even doe I sign it, they aren't allowed to write that, so I can still do it, because we have certain rules that prevents companies from doing that, but they still try to
  • 13
    > anything you build is ours
    *builds meth lab and prostitution ring, then reports company as front for both*
  • 2
    @Parzi this is exactly the way to humble them.
  • 2
    I think about 3/4 of such a contract would not hold up in court in any country with a modern labor law.

    For example, the EU Justice court determined last year (case C-518/15) that consignment shifts (being on call) which limit your ability to devote time to your personal/social life must be regarded as "work time", and that time must salaried according to the labor laws of the member state.

    An employer can also not require you to pay for your own tools (including laptop, phone, car), except if you are hired as a freelancer.

    In the Netherlands, an employer also has zero control over your private life. They are not allowed to drug test, they can't fire you for being into hardcore SM parties, and they aren't allowed to check your social media. Even most non-compete clauses tend to fail in court.

    Of course, anything that influences your performance during work hours can still be a problem, you can't just run through the office naked after snorting coke from the back of your laptop.
  • 1
    @bittersweet I think it's a joke
  • 3

    Your contract forbids using humor..
  • 2

    no humor from 9 to 5 D<

    snort coke and run around naked after please D<
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