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				First, that isn't a rant, it's a joke/meme.
Second, a "joke" that has been reposted to death.
Third, that isn't even funny.
Fourth, fuck off. - 
				
				JavaScript should be even worse.
It creates its own girls to make them into an object.
var Girl = new Object(); 

Why does C get all the girls, and Java gets none?
– Because C doesn’t treat them as objects.
rant