Everyone is an Alpha until you realise they are not.

Every one’s Alpha until they are Beta.

I've never found monkey hierarchy theory to make much sense for humans.

Sure there's some cocky and cucky types on both sides of the gender spectrum, but a small tweak to environment can easily turn the tables.

I think there's too much variation in tastes among humans, too many selection criteria, beyond "which female can nurse my offspring & which male can defend the cave"

Always remember, Alpha is just the first stage of testing!

@SoldierOfCode which are the next stages?

@Floydimus Beta and release, which doesn't need any specific tags.

@SoldierOfCode lol I wasn't thinking on those lines.

I think I'm not even an alpha version, but an early proof of concept

@bittersweet "alpha" hierarchy oroginates from wolves (and it is false as fuck)

@SoldierOfCode abandonware is "omega" then? 🤔

@bittersweet gnorm 28 / m
want fertile female
will provide cozy cave and kill other males

@ars1 can I make use of infertile ones? 🤔

@ars1 @iiii Yeah I don't know what evolutionary behavior theory has to say about the fact that I IVF'ed my seed into my lesbian wife, and fuck her bisexual GF on the side using contraceptives.

@bittersweet wait, what? O_o

@iiii

I fell in love with a gay chick, she fell in love with me, but not with my penis. I jizzed in a cup to make her pregnant, and now we're raising a child together. My wife also adopted a gen Z girlfriend half her age, because she prefers boobs against her back at night. And that girl happens to like dick so she's my side-chick as well. 🤷

That sounds Alpha... Until you forget to make your bed, then you suddenly have two Moms.

@bittersweet dafuq... That sounds pretty bizarre overall O.o

Wait... So, you're actually boning your stepdaughter?

GUYS! THE PORN WAS TRUE ALL ALONG! 🤣

@bittersweet @iiii

I definitely wasn’t expected that entering this rant.

P.S. @bittersweet Go on

@iiii No not my stepdaughter, whut xD

If I might make it more confusing: My wife's gf is considering carrying my second child... Not by me fertilizing her, but carrying the fraternal twin of my first child.

That would be the second of 19 frozen siblings... I'm hoping the rest will stay in cryosleep though.

@bittersweet you've said that your wife adopted her... So I've thought that she is now technically your wife's daughter, and yours as well. Isn't it right? 🤔

The whole story becomes even weirder with new additions 🤣

@iiii Ah, no not legally adopted, more in the sense that me & wife are getting older, so you adopt a trophy wife, but in this case we're sharing one.

We've been together for 16 years, so I have a very deep emotional bond with my wife, but the sex part was always a bit weird with her being into women and all.

She tried, but really, sex gets weird if your woman asks you to shave your beard smooth and squish your manboobs together.

I think a misconception is that people who are homosexual are also automatically homoromantic -- That's not always the case.

My wife didn't want a relationship with a woman, she just wanted a female body in bed.

@bittersweet

Okay guys, nothing to see here. We were bamboozled.

🤣

Now I am questioning myself for why did I make this post.

I don't know how it happened but somehow we went from evolution to the Alabama hot tub.

@bittersweet so, it's a big bed and 3 chicks involved, that's fine by me 😏

@bittersweet what the fuck
I'm confused but you seem to be having a good time
gnorm wouldn't understand that situation

@C0D4 The third one is kind of unborn yet you sick pedo.

@Floydimus wait what?
I thought he was sleeping with the lesbian, he's wife is sleeping with the young one, and they are all banging. I'm so confused.

@C0D4

OP is a guy.
Female count: 0

OP is married to a homo woman.
Female count: 1

Homo woman is sleeping with another bi woman.
Female count: 2

OP is banging bi woman.
Female count: 2

Bi woman is preggers with OP's child.
Female count: 2 (because child's gender identity is unknown yet)

Adult Female count by end of story: 2.

Moral of the story: You need sleep.

@Floydimus wrong. She's not yet pregnant 🤔

@iiii Oh! reality changed but adult female count in the context still remains 2.

@Floydimus what about the chick spooning the wife? Isn't that 3??

@C0D4 it's the second one.

@bittersweet I'm sorry 😅

@iiii no no, I just reread it.

- Wife
- Gay chick who he got pregnant
- Adopted young chick who spoons wife / fucks OP

Unless I'm missing something here.

@C0D4 wife is the gay chick who was previously pregnant 🤦‍♂️

@C0D4
Gay chick is Wife
Side chick is Bi, so she fucks OP and his wife and is also considering OP's child.

@Floydimus @iiii

Ah, I see it now. 🙈

@C0D4 Stop watching and give them privacy ffs

@Floydimus

16 years ago I fell for lesbian girl. She fell for me, but still gay. 👨👩

We struggled with that. There was a soulmate click, perfect relationship — but she didn't like dick and we both missed pussy.

We have had some extramarital one night stands (my wife actually had sex with my HR manager at an office party while I was sleeping with the intern 👩👩👨👩). She also tried to have sex with me, not very successful.

My wife met a 19yo girl who fled her religious parents. Wife offers her a room in our house so she wouldn't have to drop out of college. Nothing else happens, she uses our couch and Netflix, helps a bit around the house, that's it. She doesn't know that my wife is gay.

My wife and I create 19 children by me jizzing in a cup, fertilizing eggs in dishes, freezing a lot of babies. 👨👩(+🧪x19) + 👩

We thawed one baby. 👨🤰+ 👩

Girl comes super serious crying to me one day, confessing that she has had sex with my horny pregnant wife, thinking she completely wrecked our relationship.

I tell her that it's fine, explain that baby was IVFed and wife is gay.

I usually go to bed later, and I find girl spooning my wife in our bed from that moment on. I wake up multiple times with girl sleeping against me, until she confesses that she'd really like to have sex with me as well 👨👩🤰

My daughter is born 👨👩👩👶(+🧪x18)

One year later, my wife says during family breakfast she would like a second child, but is hesitant because she wasn't a big fan of being pregnant.

Our bi houseguest/babysitter/friend-with-benefits says she would love to carry one of our daughter's fraternal twins.

So soon we have an appointment at the hospital, to see if 👨🤰👩👶(+🧪x17) is possible.

It's gonna be difficult to explain all of that to my wife's family though.

They think we have a straight marriage with a straight au-pair/nanny living in our house, so if the au-pair is suddenly pregnant... Ugh.

@bittersweet So the side chick is pregnant via IVF and you just banged her without making her pregnant?

@bittersweet

> my wife actually had sex with my HR manager at an office party while I was sleeping with the intern

wait, what? XD

@Floydimus No my wife got pregnant through IVF, side chick wants to carry our second one.

@iiii Yeah I went to HR together with intern, saying "well, maybe I shouldn't be her lead anymore, because we banged last night at the party"

To which HR said: "Oh wow that's serious, we're a family company, aren't you married bittersweet, not sure we can let this slide... Haha jk I'm still sour from your wife's strap on"

@bittersweet oh fuck 🤣🤣🤣

@iiii And that intern is now technically my manager 🤔

@bittersweet

1. Professional integrity. Nice, I like it.

2. How the fuck thar intern is now your HR?

3. This sounds a like a good plot for a Bollywood movie. Faggot hipsters and pseudo feminist will go crazy over this. Boy you have a multi million dollar idea with you.

-

@bittersweet wait, what? 🤣