Ah the day before launch of a new app. And right on schedule the businesses is attempting to completely alter their requirements including a COMPLETE OVERHAUL OF THE DATABASE MODEL TO ADDRESS AN ISSUE THAT HAS ALREADY BEEN FIXED. I wish they would share the drugs they are clearly on so I could also live in this dreamland delusion where you can turn something completely on its head right on the finish line and expect everything to go well.

Manager: Hey I think I have a solution to that performance we talked about last week

Dev: I already fixed it, it only takes 1 second instead of 30 now.

Manager: Ok but I’ve also figured out a solution. If we completely change the entire database model that one query could potentially be even faster according to my understanding of how databases operate.

Dev: I fixed it without the need for that, actually it was just a matter of better conc—

Manager: I think we should go with MY solution. Drop everything and restructure the database immediately! Be quick, as you know we launch this application tomorrow! Have an extra coffee today and just crush it out, don’t overthink this either just do it.

Dev: …

  • 5
    Yeah you are clearly overthinking it. 🤦‍♂️

    I hope you aren‘t really considering to make those changes, do you?
  • 6
    "Coffee won‘t do it. I need the same crazy pills that you take"
  • 9
    Don't change anything and tell him it's done when he asks.
  • 1
    @Lensflare Working on them now, I have little say in the matter. It’s their money/product.
  • 1
    @nitnip Lol sadly he knows enough to know I didn’t do it.
  • 3
    I wanna know if it ends well haha
  • 5
    Cocaine. It's cocaine.
  • 5
    We need to formalize a "donate a beer" system to posts so that we can send beer money to post authors. Can we do this via a crypto currency somehow? These posts are so entertaining. They deserve the author consume large quantities of alcohol.
  • 1
    Oh no... Cocaine. It's cocaine.
  • 2
    @Demolishun Oh don’t worry, I do
  • 3
    Since when do managers make technical decisions. I think someone misread their job description.
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