I want to write something in PHP.

Yes, coming from me, it sounds like stockholm syndrome, but for me PHP is reminiscent of simpler times.

I want to get a server right where I bought the domain, with CPanel, log in with FTP and ~~push~~ (excuse me, _send_) index.php and other files there. I want to open phpmyadmin and throw some stupid fields together that won't work at scale, but "scale" will never happen.

I want to design websites without normalize.css, without any kind of javascript but some silly UI stuff, I want to send emails with sendmail and not sendgrid. I want my gradient buttons back.

Symphony and Laravel can kiss my ass.

  • 2
    Blink twice if u need me to call the cops
  • 3
    A couple days ago I wrote a HTML document with a little bit of JS for interactivity and a few lines of CSS in the header, it felt incredibly liberating.
  • 2
    My last project used SQLite and a process-local cache. It was basically designed from the ground up to run as a single process executing single-threaded javascript, and the problem in the end was that I spent too much time on optimization so it was a lightning fast shitshow of bugs. Scalability is expensive and most clients can't afford it from the get go.
  • 1
    I way, way prefer setting up a netlify connection to github and just pushing my Nuxt3 app into it without the need to untangle PHP dependencies and manually sending this bullshit through ftp
  • 2
    @msdsk me too but this is way too modern
  • 1
    Why stop at PHP - Perl still exists...
  • 0
    Somebody call an ambulance for Kiki and an ambulance for me

    Edit: jokes aside, at least for me, sometimes I get the wish to do simpler stuff… but then ocd kicks in
  • 0
    I can totally relate..
    With all the overly complex hyperbole nowadays one can only feel reminiscent of ye olde days..

    What pisses me the most off nowadays, is when ppl zealously defend their distributed monoliths..
    Starting to feel like I'd rather be in the *promised* land of JS callback hell...

    Once you get icky from include hell, you may want to try out Siler PHP.
  • 1
    @lotd boy, the good architecture is agnostic to languages and tools. I have the experience of creating a quite large application in PHP. I intentionally went without any framework. I created a library of pure functions, created a data model of all the entities needed in a way that it doesn't contradict itself, so the types being correct guarantees business logic being correct. Surprise-surprise, everything worked!

    Though I understand that it's near impossible to overhaul legacy to turn it in what I described. But Netflix proven it's possible to establish such design, they ditched UI frameworks like React in favor of an in-house solution
Add Comment