Post after a long long time...

Wanted to reply to so many comments and mentions, rant about a bunch of topics, do a face reveal after I went for a vacation with family and got some pictures, update y'all on my job hunt, but was busy like hell.

Anyway, time for a story.

After my rejection with Meta and Booking, I started preparing like crazy and my interviews started going well. Refined my LinkedIn further and recruiters started reaching out as well.

Over time, with efforts and feedback, I was able to build a good pipeline.

One of my dream companies reached out to me and I got hired in just 1 round and all others were merely a formality. I was euphoric, but at the same time didn't get over excited as this seemed fishy.

They made a very good monetary offer and I didn't talk to my manager yet regarding resignation. They are pushing me for an early joining.

Read a bunch of Glassdoor reviews and also spoke to a friend who just recently quit that organisation.

He confirmed that the company has 3 months of notice, has sandwich leave policy, and some other XLT political mess.

I decided to decline the offer tomorrow.

Day saved? Not yet.

Because of this I slacked off work a lot. I am super screwed with work items pending because I thought I'd quit.

My boss resinged and new one isn't that supportive yet. He is trying to change everything overnight. Typical.

I ended up performing poorly in other companies because I was confident I'll pick this offer and didn't prepare for upcoming good companies.

Moreover, we have our offices opening up from April and I might be asked to relocate to another city which does not have a team but just because it is on paper, they might force me to be in office 50% of the time.

And what's worse is, my relationship with tech is deteriorating and they are putting the entire product team in bad light.

I have a planned weekend trip coming up, so I won't be able to prepare for interviews or work on case studies so that shit will pile up more.

I am sooooo fucking screwed. Life was stable and then all of a sudden too 180° flip.

I am hysterical right now.

  • 3
    @zlice much needed. Thanks.
  • 6
    First, take a deep breath.

    It's ok man. You got your head wrapped around yourself so tight you think your heart will explode from the blood pressure.

    Your company won't fire you, your direct supervisor just quit, it'll be at least 2 months before they even think about it. They're investing hundreds of thousands into ensuring that your manager is going to be successful. Just be friendly and supportive of his direction. I've done this before, I was literally the only person on my team that didn't get fired or quit.

    As far as they know your old manager is the one that delayed you. Don't throw them under the bus, but don't correct them either. The less you say, the more they "know".

    Keep your head down, work on your projects and quietly look for another job.

    If they make you move, tell them right now isn't a good time and it's just not financially possible for you to do so. Rent and homes are skyhigh and they can't deny that.
  • 4
    If they force the issue let them know in writing that you feel uncomfortable and threatened that your job may be at risk due to complications outside of your control.

    Document everything they respond with after that. If they fire you, you may have ground for an unlawful termination suit.

    Good luck dude 😎
  • 2

  • 6
    I'm sure 99% of people will say reject that offer as you decided. I would say most jobs have a good chunk of bullshit and accepting any offer is a leap of faith. How many interviews have we been lied to in and then found out the job isn't like that. Most of them?

    If it's a good stable job with a good salary and opportunities to learn, take the job.
  • 3
    I'd have waited at least until I got the contract before declining the offer. Sandwich leave sucks but can be negotiated away, and 3 months notice is no bad thing for job security. I've no idea what XLT is though.
  • 1
    Floydimus, I'm sorry I'm not in your physical location. If I was I would sit down with you and have you name off all the bullshit. Then go through them one by one telling what you can and cannot do. Then show you a breathing exercise. Then before I go, collect $150.00 counselor/life coach fee. OK, not the last one. But you get the idea. This is one of those life clusterfucks. It happens. It won't last forever. Just don't let yourself lose control to fear. Good luck.
  • 1
    Meh I’d have taken the other offer. Everybody’s definition of bad varies.
  • 1
    @sariel haha yes, I agree. I have been very hard on myself since forever. I am trying to change that behavioural trait of mine, progress is slower than expected.

    Yes, the new manager is supportive and is trying to bring in a lot of change. I did have an open and honest conversation with him on my relocation and job safety, and he was very supportive on that front too. He is still learning a lot about the role (as this is his first role as a people manager) and navigate through company dynamics.

    They forced my very first manager (I had three managers changed in last 5 months, the org is super unstable), to relocate and when she denied, they fired her. Though gave her ton of money as severance.

    I had a good interview pipeline built, but slowly the leakage started and I fear, I'll have to start over again, a very stressful thing to do.

    Thanks for the wishes, I am sure things would work out because good things take time :)

    @IntrusionCM awww bro *hugs back*
  • 0
    @Crost I have only made one job switch in my life so I don't know how they lie about job stuff during interviews. Now coming to bullshit part, I agree, every team has their dirty laundry of some kind. I am okay with that.

    The problem was, this company was taking away my freedom which I cannot and do not want to compromise. My current company is draining the soul out of me and jump from one mess to another won't make sense with less than a year at current place, as it will show me as a hopper.

    They have some weird policies which can negotiated but given my goal to move to the UK/EU, I think I must continue trying on external applications and just bear the mess that I am currently in.

    @AlmondSauce XLT is senior leadership. I connected with a LinkedIn connection who works there and he said that notice is being reduced to 2 months now and sandwich leave can be adjusted with manager. I quickly called the HR and rejected without thinking much. I should have worked it out. Continued...
  • 0
    @AlmondSauce I agree on job security part, but given my goal of relocating to the UK/EU, such long notice period will trap me in, because already the visa process would take a couple of months and the notice, no company would wait for 4 to 5 months for me. Even if they, the chances of top funnel activities will drop significantly. Wanted to avoid that given that I have gotten the grip of interviews and at same rhythm and momentum, something might work out soon, so no point showing a few month tenure on resume.

    @bols59 you are awesome and one day, when we meet, the beer and the food is on me bro. Thank you for the therapy ❤️

    @jeeper I low key regret not picking it because it only had one bad thing in it and everything else was better or at least manageable. Should I reach out to the HR?
  • 1
    @Floydimus I don’t think you have anything to lose. If it’s only been a couple days they probably have not started another round of interviews yet. If they ask about it I’d just say “my personal circumstances changed and now I can accept the offer.” What was horror stories to others was cushy to me and vice versa.

    This is just thoughts from some guy on the internet, don’t give me any blame or credit 😂
  • 1
    My biggest mistake in life was not being as proud of my work as I want, fearing other people thinking I’m a bragging arrogant asshole.

    In reality, any real company is willing to a lot of money to a smart person who never sweetens the pill and always tell the whole ugly truth. CEOs inherently have lower grasp on how tech is ran, as human attention is limited. They will forgive any “corporate culture” misbehavior as long as you provide short, radically true insight about tech. It’s important to always tell the whole truth, in everything, and forget about building a public image. Business deems this type of people utmost valuable.

    To this type of people, there is no corporate culture, there are no performance reviews, there is no BS. They are indispensable. They can only be fired for fucked up shit type of misbehavior.
  • 1
    Other than truth, it’s important to ignore the tasks and focus on actual product improvement. I’ve seen a lot of companies with their product having issues, as any product have them, having 100+ programmers doing god knows what. Their jira tasks make no sense regarding actually improving the product.

    I’ve seen a company with a broken heading laying on top of a paragraph of text right on their landing page, and they told me that “we know that, but we haven’t yet decided who’s gonna fix this”, as their engineers are busy moving from useForm to react-final-form, because their project manager said so.

    “Fuck you, I’m gonna solve this product’s real problems, and I’m gonna report right to CEO”. This was my answer.

    If product quality is crucial for this company, this will work. If it’s not, I can’t work for this company, as I’m always giving my best and I give it fully, as I’m obsessed with what I do.

    The only exception are mega-corporations.
  • 2
    Achieving this took me six years. But it was the only way I can work, given my mental conditions. Slacking and ignoring real problems when I can help and have impact just because some manager is stupid kills me. I can’t work like this. Giving my 30% instead of 100% counterintuitively requires 150% of my energy. I have headaches and suicidal thoughts working this way.

    It wasn’t even my courage, as I have little of it. It was my survival instinct.
  • 1
    What a comeback. I will write about it.
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