The colleague:

- I can't work, my chair is uncomfortable
- I can't work, my chair is not ergonomic
- I can't work, my desk is too small
- I can't work, my legs are uncomfortable
- I can't work, my keyboard is not ergonomic
- I can't work on this task, John knows how to do it better
- I will only work on <this> type of tasks. I will not work on others
*gets assigned <other> task; browses the internet all day; at the EOD task isn't even touched*
- I can't work with Jack, he's too noisy
- I can't come to the office on time, there's traffic in the city
- I couldn't come yesterday, I was out of town. No, I will not log a vacation day - I was NOT on vacation. It's personal
- I can't<...>

Manager, 2 days to the end of said colleague's probation period:
- I am very sorry to tell you this, but our attitudes are not in line and we cannot continue working together. Since this is your 5th warning, we have to let you go.

The colleague:
- What?? How come?? I did NOT see this coming... You can't do this! I work here! This is where I work and you can't fire me!

*got his things from his desk and left. Never came back*

Everyone at the office:
- YAYYYY!!!! Let's have a shorter day today and let's celebrate this riddance in a pub! (manager agreed)

  • 8
    He should have completed probation to show his cards
  • 8
    5 warnings... nice!
    I give only 2
  • 4
    @aaronswartz "upper management"
  • 3
    I can’t work, my brain construction doesn’t like the fact that I actually need money to by food, and, you know, live, and instead is busy with immaculately capturing every fucking byte of what my eyes see, my ears hear, and processing the shit out of it while also autogenerating awkward social scenarios that will never happen and forcing me to think about them over and over while coming up with “solutions” until another ptsd flashback accidentally encountered while associations chain was followed turns me into a scared kitten crying under my desk. It’s not that bad, it says, kittens have fangs so they’re cool, but it doesn’t matter if I can win now or not, because some weird social situation from 2008 I didn’t, and it’s apparently really fucking important to rethink it again and again and again coming up with solutions that will never work, because every solution I find ultimately results in my defeat, as that’s the only thing I experienced back then.
  • 3
    @kiki i hope you get well and things will look better for you soon. Life is a struggle, be strong. If you lost your conscience, get help and regain it. Save yourself from yourself, good people are needed everywhere.
  • 2
    @kiki somehow, I know exactly what you mean..
  • 0
    @kiki that was relatable as fuck
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