26
pait
112d

In the Ruhr area (Germany) we have some very old, very strange words with strange meanings. One of those words is ‚Prutscher‘.
A Prutscher refers to a person who does things but never gets a good result, due to lack of knowledge or simple carelessness. Most of the time, Prutschers are people who are interested in certain subjects and often work in the related jobs, but who lack the motivation to properly train themselves, learn what there is to learn and to always keep up with their technologies .
Here are a few examples I've stumbled upon so far in my career:

- Developers in their 60's who read a book about PHP 25 years ago and decided to become a software developer. Since then haven't read anything about it. Who then now build huge spaghetti monoliths for large companies, in which they prefix every function, every variable and constant with their initials and, of course, use Hungarian notation.

- People who read half a fucking tutorial about <insert any fancy js framework here> and start blogging/tweeting about it

- Senior web developers who need to be told what the fuck CORS is and who can't even recognize CORS related errors in their browser console.

- People who have done nothing else for 18 years than building websites for companies on Wordpress 1.x and writing few lines of PHP and Javascript from time to time. Those who are now applying as a frontend dev due to the difficult economic situation and are surprised that they are not accepted due to a lack of experience.

- Developers who are the only ones working on Windows in the team and ask their Linux colleagues for help when Windows starts bitchin.

- People who have been coding for 30 years, have worked with ~42 languages ​​and don't know the difference between compiled and interpreted languages ​​in the job interview.

- Chief developers at a large newsletter-publisher who think it's a good idea to build your own CMS (due to a lack of good existing ones, of course).

- Developers who have been writing PHP applications for multinational corporations for 25 years and cannot explain how PHP is executed. They don't even know what the fucking OPcache is, let alone fpm. FML

- People who call themselves professional developers but never ever heard of DRY, KISS, boy-scout rule, 12-Factor App, SOLID, Clean Code, Design Patterns, ...

- Senior developers wondering why the bash script won't run on their fucking Windows machine.

- Developers who consider Typescript to be a hindrance and see no value in it.

- Developers using ftp for deployments in 2022

- Senior Javascript Developer applying for a job and for whom Integer is a primitive data type in JS.

- Developers who prefer to code without frameworks and libraries because they are only an unnecessary burden/overhead and you can quickly code everything up yourself.

- Developers who think configuring their server(s) manually is a good idea.

You fucking Prutscher. What you have already cost me in terms of work and nerves. I can't even put it into words how deeply I despise you. I have more respect for the chewing gum that has been stuck in my damn trash can for the past 3 years than I do for you guys. You are the disgrace of our profession. I will haunt you in your dreams and prefix every fucking synapse of your brain with MY initials.

As a well-known german band once sang in a very fitting song: I wouldn't even piss on you if you were on fire.

If you recognized yourself in one of the examples here: FUCK YOU!

Comments
  • 7
    I recognize this is way to many instances. Good read, 7/7.
  • 5
    @ScriptCoded thanks man!
  • 2
    @spongegeoff poor you
  • 7
    Moin, willkommen in der coolen Hölle.
  • 1
    You are fucking cringe bro
  • 0
    Gosh, if only I was so clueless about what my code is doing that I had to run a bunch of tests to see if I'd broken anything.
  • 3
    @aviophile Seems you recognized yourself somewhere up there, eh!
  • 2
    @pait i don’t lower myself to web dev, sorry.
  • 0
    Hang on Pait - you're posting *directly to the internet*!!!!! What are you thinking?!????
  • 3
    @spongegeoff Oh head back to your IRC server eh? 😅
  • 0
    @ScriptCoded Yes, I'm employed by Russia to set up botnets. Pays well.
  • 1
    @spongegeoff I think he means using ftp as opposed to sftp man.
  • 0
    @AleCx04 Who, Pait? Nah, I bet he means some framework that's 1% utilised, CSS prepro, WebPack, Puppet, Jenkins... oh, hang on, something went wrong... five hour outage and an eventual hard restore that drops a bunch of transactions.
  • 2
    @spongegeoff well, let us ask him instead rather than just jumping the gun and attacking the dude bro!
  • 0
    @AleCx04 Yeah, I feel really guilty you know, seeing as he came in so friendly.
  • 1
    @spongegeoff homie, you literally told him to fuck off for something that ain't even clarified yet :(

    I do agree with your comment on that one about the ci/di pipelines tho, lots of mfkers using that to overcomplicate the deployment of shit
  • 0
    ---

    DRY, KISS, boy-scout rule, 12-Factor App, SOLID, Clean Code, Design Patterns, ...

    ---

    I know about:

    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/...

    But, what do the others do ?

    ( Wonders if he is already doing them, but not knowing they are called something specific.. )
  • 0
    --

    - Developers who think configuring their server(s) manually is a good idea.

    --

    Is there another way to configure them ?
  • 0
    Oh I found one:

    https://digitalocean.com/community/...

    Now I'm wondering, that screen clear command I wrote a while ago that consisted of 32,000 instructions all the same in a row, so as to avoid using any loop commands, and getting the max speed possible, does that go against DRY principles ?

    But isn't it a KISS principle ?
  • 0
    Found another:

    https://deviq.com/principles/...

    I guess if you can do, else you might waste a lot of time trying to improve something that is impossible to improve !

    After all, at some point, the code most be perfect !

    Reminds me of someone I know who writes engine code for cars, if it crashes, the system reboots fast enough that the car doesn't notice. :-)
  • 0
    Found another:

    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/...

    This seems to explain it in a bit more detail:

    https://redhat.com/architect/...
  • 0
    Another:

    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/SOLID

    I hope all these 'modern' approaches aren't behind today's shitty code..

    For example, my top of the range all singing all dancing phone, everytime it goes to sleep and you open it up, the keyboard backlighting turns itself off..

    It shouldn't, its a bug..

    Why has no one fixed it in the last couple of years !

    It's really annoying !

    Probably fixable with some kind of firmware hack I imagine..
  • 0
  • 0
    And the last one:

    https://sourcemaking.com/design_pat...

    Unless there are more we should all be aware of ?

    All this help available to folk, I guess you don't need to be a genuis anymore to code. :-)
  • 1
    @Nanos configuring servers not manually involves different stuff

    It is good to start with book "docker deep dive" (learn how to use docker-compose)
    It should be good enough beginner set

    It is extended further with stuff like
    Ansible for something to install Docker and launching its containers
    terraform to automate cloud provider clicks, or Pulumi
    And container orchestration like kubernetes
    And CI CD tools like gitlab ci
  • 0
    @darkwind I think I more need a book called "The absolute beginners guide to configuring Windows 2003 server"...
  • 0
    @AleCx04 My actual words are "You can fuck off too". The OP told me and many other people to f off, I'm telling him to f off.
  • 1
    @spongegeoff if you version control your stuff properly deploying with FTP probably isnt that bad. But what you probably don't have and actually helps is blue/green (or just preview) deployments. And that's worth a lot.

    But honestly there is some truth in this, if your projects are small (and few) enough that you don't really need ci/cd, then it's maybe better not having it. Cause it also adds complexity ofc
  • 1
    @Eval Yeah, I'm usually doing small(ish) stuff as sole developer. Automating business/factory processes and so on. Local development, Git, pull from test to live, straightforward upload. Pages validate perfectly, load fast, considered intuitive, run on cheap hosting, look good and do what they are meant to do. KISS.
  • 1
    Only read the first two lines but in Dutch it's a normal word and called "prutser" so I wonder if it has a Dutch heritage or the other around.
  • 0
    My seniors show no sign of using git nor any git remote (github/gitlab).

    If I want Test driven development, I can only do it in the repos that I own, because I have no idea where they back up their work.

    I WANT to do things the right way! But I have to teach myself everything because 12 factor apps and GitOps is something they may discard as young-blood trendies.
  • 0
    @brnrdo holly cow. 🐮 🐄.
    My project is super mega modern then in comparison.

    I just complain about zero code architecture.
  • 0
    @brnrdo wtf, get out there as soon as possible
  • 0
    @pait doing a technical assessment to be recruited elsewhere 🤞🏻
  • 1
    @brnrdo good luck!
  • 0
    There's a similar word in dutch: 'prutser'. Means the same thing, basically.
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