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Manager (via phone): You need to setup the CEO with access to the app IMMEDIATELY

Dev: Ok…What’s the occasion?

Manager: There is a big important meeting right now where we go over our achievements for the year and my plan was to have him log in and play around.

Dev: Likely would have been worth mentioning at this mornings standup.

Manager: Don’t be a smart ass. In fact, if you were actually smart you would have given him an account in the first place! So you’re just an ass then, what kind of idiot doesn’t give the CEO an account to an app like this?

Dev: Actually you specifically asked for him to be removed when I added him. “Unnecessary Optics” you said.

Manager: THAT’S BULLSHIT, I NEVER SAID THAT!!

Dev: It’s in our meeting minutes from 2 years ago.

Manager: STOP WRITING THE THINGS I SAY DOWN IT’S COMPLETELY UNNECESSARY.

Dev: I’ll make a note of that request

Manager: YOU ABSOL—ok looks like he’s waving me back in the room now the account must be working now bye. *click*.

Dev: Moron.

Comments
  • 27
    I don't have a stupid manager, but maybe I should also start to write down what people say.
  • 8
  • 4
    @Lasoloz Definitely should. Worst that happens is... nothing, you don't need it. Best that happens is that you find yourself, or the team in hot water, and that allows you to show that you did due diligence and your manager / coworker / whoever else was the cause, not you.
  • 6
    That's why I prefer every change ticketed in Jira or somesuch. Preferably written by the person who requests the thing. Or even email or chat message. I try to make it so that *nothing* is done solely based on a spoken word.

    It's one of those things that make a senior developer.
  • 9
    I did this with a few bosses that liked to rewrite history. Nothing about their behavior changed, they just got more angry at me.
  • 3
    I've given up on the idea of writing stuff down to hold managers to their word. They'll just say "we're agile - things change"

    But the major concern here is that a developer is held responsible for creating accounts.

    Unless it's a tiny company - devs should code and not handle admin cruft like that
  • 3
    @jiraTicket Massive company in this case, small dev team. IT got completely shipped overseas to the lowest bidder until they realized you get what you pay for. For 8 years not a single IT project went successfully. They could only process password resets and hardware rentals, any ticket other than that was closed without explanation or recourse because they signed a massive 15 year contract with no exit clause and no concrete deliverables (genius, no wonder the price was good). Things eventually got desperate and the caved in to setting aside some capital for some internal development.
  • 2
    @boombodies Damn :O that should be written in some kind of book, the equivalent of "Clients from hell"- contracts from hell
  • 1
    Ouch... Just, wow.. I was on the receiving end of a "what the fuck do I pay you people for" ranting session from my boss recently (in a weekly catch up meeting, because yes we will have those).

    Well done for keeping your cool though.. 🤘 maybe some people can't help it, they're just assholes by nature.
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