I need to share this with someone:

I've been using this app for months, maybe an year, without contributing cuz I didn't have anything really valueable to say.

Generaly, my girlfriend and family work at the beach in summer and they need my help but than again I can find the perfect career starting intern which will be worth perspectively at that time.

Why the fuck is my family doing this to me. They obviously need help but I am delaying my career for two years now because of that but after all, family is my treasure and it's more valueable than a career, there will always be internships but what stops me from spending a decade more and still be making the same mistake, but if I don't go I might break up with my gf and mess family things even more I don't want that, what would you do ?

I would talk to them and ask them how they would feel about it, if you would go to the internship instead of going to work for them.

And then you'll decide what you are going to do.

@plusgut in slav coutries you either agree with your family or you are disgrace, no conversations accepted

@funvengeance this seems very black and white.

Did you talk to them about the topic?

@plusgut yeah, long story short:
family- fuck you;
gf- I am leaving you

@funvengeance oh wow, that's harsh.
In your position I would do, where I think is best for me in longterm.

Or in other words: what are your priorities.

@plusgut in career vs the only people who care about you I think everyone would pick family, don't you think?

@funvengeance No I don't think that, this depends on the person.

Me for example: I left my hometown where I was living 27 years and have all my friends there and my family.
And now I'm at another town far away because of a job opportunity.

But that is just me, I don't know what is important for you. Let me just say: it's not easy, either way.

@funvengeance damn they don't understand and support you at all.. You should do you.

You should think for yourself and your opportunities too. Talk with them and tell them what you decide.

But "if you don't help us you are dead to us" seems as if they are using you.

A gf that puts you for that choice is not a worthy gf(future wife) anyways! And family wont be around forever as well, i'd say invest in your future and find your soulmate(lifepartner) that supports you no matter what!

Girlfriend emotionally blackmailing you? Huh, that's no girlfriend. Go for internship.

@plusgut Is it worth for you ?

@floriaan @filthyranter @juzles pretty good point I agree, I don't want to be with manipulative people who will shape me in a bad way but there is the emotional point of the relationship between us

@funvengeance I'm actually not sure.

I mean it's kinda working out for me.
Job-wise I'm very very happy and this wouldn't be possible in my hometown because there are no such companies.

Socially it's not working out that great, because of different reasons.

In conclusion: it's a mixed bag, with goods and bads.

@plusgut are u happy?

@funvengeance it really depends on the day, some days I totally enjoy myself. On other days I miss my friends a lot.
I'm sorry that I don't have clear answers for you ;)

Just shit on them like they shit on you when it comes to support. There's no fucking point of doing stuff their way and this will never end for you. You will be just a dumb puppy fetching sticks for your gf and your family will misuse you even later when you would actually work for them. In the end they'll just bash on you even more, because you are an easy target and gf will most likely cheat or leave you exactly because of that.

It's your life, don't waste it on crap.

@funvengeance If they really care about you, they'll get over it, imho

Will your family struggle a lot to live their life in a fair condition if you leave them? Then it might be better to stay with them and continue being a developer in your spare time.

Connect with companies, work on different projects, show your valuable skills, it will catch big company's attention. If you get a very good job, your family might not need you with them to lead a better life. You can share some money with them.

At the end, it totally depends on your situation. i.e.

1. Your family will be fine without you: In this case, if your family doesn't support you, maybe get the internship.

2. Your family will have a miserable life without you: Rethink your opportunities, see if you can build your career staying with them.

Your girlfriend doesn't matter, ur family will realise their mistake when u start having a successful career. I can relate to your situation because I am in a similar position I work 8 hrs a day in a teaching outdated technology then I struggle after hours trying to keep up with this rapidly growing technology with no mentor no support no hope in general. My family complains that I don't spend time with them, because at the end of the day u and only u are responsible for the shit hole u r in, and your failure to crawl out of it not your family not your girlfriend only u.

the internship is it far away from that said beach? How about doing both 50/50?

@heyheni that's probably what I am going to do

@funvengeance I faced a similar dilemma years ago (family vs. internship/job). I picked family because I thought they stood up for me with studies and I felt I had to help them when they needed me most. Fast forward about 7 years in the present and I'm struggling finding a first job cause for some companies I'm too old for an entry level job. On top of that, I'm financially backed up by the family, so they get to have a say on my choices. To make matters worse, I get the blame I can't find a job. Where I am is very difficult to do that anymore and migrating is a common choice. There are days I just hate myself and I don't want to do anything because of it.

So while you think family/love takes precedence, ponder if those sacrifices are worth your own future and happiness. If they really care for you, they will let you go. It won't be easy, but at least you will start gaining your independence.

@Qaldim Oh man, heavy stuff. Would you do the decide the same again?

@plusgut No, I'm prioritising myself these days. Whenever there's a task conflict of the same severity, I do mine first.

What I wanted to say in my long comment yesterday is that life is short. If you try to appease others, you won't be able to build the foundations to get your life going in the future and that will get you into a tight spot when the time comes.

@Qaldim I agree and wish you the best of luck :)