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@Demolishun well it's like you need peace of mind and a healthy body. One should not destroy the other.
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I'm sorry you have to suffer through life. Maybe try to dig deep into yourself, co front that inner demon in you and defeat it with the shovel you have been digging with. Once you have done so perhaps the weight of the world will be a lot lighter.
Then you might take a new journey in your life. Perhaps on the other side of the world.
I genuinely wish you a happy life. Go for it. End your suffering. -
@NeatNerdPrime you have frequently defeated your demons in life with a shovel baseball bat and bottle of zippy fluid :) doesn't work they keep coming back
If I don't stop being a piece of shit entropy will prevail and my life in general will suck
I need to do something different like stopping being a crazy bastard that literally does exactly the same fucking things over and over and then denies them when someone confronts me
I need to admit that time is passing and has passed and it's devouring me
And a big part of this is not trying to cover my tracks because I'm not I'm fucking myself.
With the more positive changes I make the better the world around me will become.
I've been failing and I keep getting it worse in general.
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