FUUUUUUUUCK LINEAR ALGEBRA!!

Next-level web development!

Django devs, prepare your eye bleach:

(I love that this is possible, but I really don't trust myself to wield the power of making things mutable at will...)

WHYYY is LDAP so god damn convoluted??!?
I love the idea of it, but in practice, everything is just a hack on top of hack on top of hack going as far back as the 90s.

The moment when you've spent way too much time working on your mail server and your dumbass friend instinctively slaps a @gmail.com at the end of your custom domain...

payscale.com 🔫

I have just concluded a post-mortem on one of my servers.
Cause of death: out of memory due to a tiny memory leak in a VPN service triggered by 66 different IPs brute-forcing the creds at the same time. Mostly from China, of course.

Dear bot writers: you made me put aside my spaghetti and write iptables rules. I hate iptables. And I love spaghetti. You should be ashamed of yourself! Did momma not teach you basic OpSec? Don't crash the target and never, ever, interrupt the sysadmin during dinner!

Fuck oVirt!
Fuck OpenShift!
Fuck everything Red Hat made!

Yes, they make the hard stuff easy, but they make the easy stuff sooo unnecessarily difficult...

I need to have a serious talk with my VPS provider...

Finally, I can play around with a proper server.
HP ProLiant DL380 G6 = dual 8-core Xenons @ 2.4GHz with 32GB RAM and 12TB / RAID1-0 of WD Purples (we happened to have them for some reason).
Already pissed at HP because they don't support JBOD and already pissed at myself for using CentOS, but other than that, enjoying the hell out of it!

And it's ALL MINE! ... Well, technically it's the org's, but it won't go into production for half a year and I'm the only one with the root access so, for now, it's MINE! 😅

I've been pulling my hair out trying to figure out why this image wasn't aligning properly until, after 20 minutes, I figured out that it was actually aligned perfectly, my *absolute genius* client just uploaded a picture with a janky white border

This morning, I decided I'm gonna do some Android development. I opened Android Studio (closing 2 Firefox windows to reclaim enough RAM), launched the Android Emulator and then proceeded with my coding.
Since, I've almost finished a prototype app, translated a good 100 strings, had lunch, updated 2 server and THE EMULATOR IS STILL BOOTING!
My Android dev friend tells me this "just happens sometimes". WHAT?!?
I'm genuinely starting to think that good software doesn't exist anymore...

Here's how my day's been going:
- decided to learn a quite popular JS framework
- installed with official installer
- used official tool to create an empty project
- ERROR! 20mins of debugging fixed it
- followed the getting started guide
- ANOTHER ERROR!
- "I must be doing something wrong"
- pulled the *official* demo project
- A COMPLETELY DIFFERENT ERROR!

- "Fuck it! I'm making this from scratch"

(the framework is Meteor, btw. fuck Meteor)

KDE. There's just so much awesome stuff under it. Plasma, Krita, Kdenlive, KDE Connect... Most of the bleeding-edge Linux desktop development is happening under KDE.

Totally outside... Definitely not a WinXP background projected onto a dirty wall...

Holy shit, Zapier (https://zapier.com) is so powerful!
I hate it! 😅
I was just messing around with it and in 2 hours managed to implement the whole functionality of a project I had just quoted a client 20 hours for in custom Python.
It is genuinely a threat to several types of developers' jobs.

I was designing and building a portfolio page for a photographer. He mostly does black & white portraits with either a white or black background so I had the idea of splitting the page into a light and dark side (Star Wars joke definitely intentional).
I worked waaay too long on a *diagonal* CSS wipe animation when the user switches sides and I was quite proud of it.
Half a year later we realize that basically no one has noticed the switch button. Analytics confirmed it was less than 4% of visitors. 🤦‍♂️

My bank just switched from RSA SecurID to SMS-based 2-factor authentication, claiming it offers "equal security".
Is it not common knowledge that SMS 2FA is a security joke?? What the fuck guys?!?

Rant 2/n; 😎 = me, 💩 = client
The (brief but comprehensive) docs I sent my client contained the following line: "Any text that has not been translated will be highlighted yellow for the admins".

A day later:
💩: "Hey, I like the new design, but why are the titles yellow?"
😎: "They aren't actually yellow. You just see that because you're logged in and they aren't translated"
💩: "But the yellow doesn't look good with the design. Visitors will think it looks unprofessional. Make them not yellow!"
😎: "They won't see the yellow! Only you can see it so you don't miss any translations"
💩: "Hi, I just noticed some of the titles aren't in English. How do I translate them? And they're still yellow."

😐🙁😠😡🤬💥

I just discovered a local beer brewery called Crazy Duck. Now that's my kind of debugging buddy!
I'm buying some the moment I get back from vacation to test them on a legacy PHP project.

😎 = me, 💩 = client

💩: "I must emphasize that I'm on a tight schedule. I need this done in 2 weeks."
😎: I cut some features and take the job.
As agreed, I send a progress report at the end of the week to get feedback.
💩: *nothing*
😎: He must be busy... I'll call him if he doesn't reply in a few days.
💩: *doesn't answer call*
😎: Time running out, still no feedback, I assume everything is fine and finish it a day before the deadline. Suddenly:
💩: "Hi, how's the project going?"
😎: "...good... WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN???"
💩: "Oh, I went on a quick vacation"
😎: *wants to die a quick and painless death*
"There's only like a day left..."
💩: "Right... Soo, here's the feedback you asked for"
*dumps 4 paragraphs of stupid nitpicking on me (rants following)*
😎: *wants client to die a slow and painful death*

In case there are any game devs here: unskippable cut scenes will make me want to hang you off the ceiling by your feet and whip you for the full duration of every single cut scene in your game.
Spend the extra minute and add a skip button. Got it?

By not having a social life 😅
EDIT: except for that one time a month when I go to a club and get totally wasted and actually have friends for a day.

Much security, very captcha!

What kind of drugs can possibly compel someone to write a 7000 line source file?? Seven thousand lines of code. In a single file! When everything else in the project is nice and modular... 🤮

This guy does not give a fuck. I like him.

BB..but HOW?????

Clients expecting quotes before explaining the full extent of the work and then getting mad when I change it after they add a billion more features.
Also, cross-browser testing 😫🔫

If you ever thought hell didn't exist...
I just spent the day explaining cryptocurrencies to a room of social sciences and law students.
I really need to get drunk, but it's only Thursday 😫

Leaving things out of VCS. My usual folder structure is like this:
- Project name:
|-- env (virtual environment)
|-- Project name (git repo)
\-- (keys, credentials, etc.)
It makes sense, but after a while, more and more important stuff starts piling up in the outer folder (not version-controlled).