Details
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AboutData Eng with a long history of abusive bosses and awesome projects. Got a MSc in Optimization and a couple startup failures under my belt.
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SkillsPython, C/C++, Cloud Architecture, Spark, Parquet, AsyncIO, Sarcasm, Heuristics, Optimization, Science, Academics
Joined devRant on 10/26/2021
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Non-tech company, I presume.
The stupid fear what they cannot understand. Ergo, they fear our work and ourselves.
So when a non-tech company that makes muffins or whatever hires a dev group or ten, the analogs fear for their jobs and do what they can to sabotage the tech tribe.
Worst even are non-tech companies like banks or shipping or mining or manufacturing or retail or whatever that say "we are a (stupid prefix)-tech company!" and hire waaaay too many devs, often of the wrong skill set, and put an incapable "leader" to drag them down.
Those analog bosses then buy the wrong tools and never admit it. They squander procedure and planning to parrot some horrifically misunderstood notions of agile methods. They scream and shout and bully.
Those oafs also exist in the other type of non-techs too, but in prefix-tech companies they are much worse because they must not admit they can't tell Java from JavaScript.
As always, GTFO. The tech job market tide is still in our favor. -
@Oktokolo you live alone, don't you?
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Given sufficient leverage and steady enough support, I shall lift the earth itself!
Be any absolutely inflexible axis (please leave dick jokes to the end) and an impossibly immovable point in space abstract concepts, and you start to see the principles of software design appearing.
Our entire science is based on the reductionist belief that anything can be expressed using tiny but absolute concepts like 0 and 1. We call it "Turing-complete languages".
Thus it's only natural that our peers will try and apply it to every situation. I sure do. -
Deviously sceptic. But it might not work. Although the server that sends the messages might be in china, it might just be hosted there and the real sender is based in some english-speaking fiscal pirate cove.
It would not be a stretch to imagine a Chinese company offering out-of-golden-wall "no questions asked" web services to foreigners.
Try to include a link to a documentary on the benefits of THC or something. -
Continuously changing requirements? I believe the analogs are calling it "company culture".
I know you probably can't do anything about it, but try to ask for a ticket in every requirement change. Build a paper trail to blame delays on. -
Wait, that is really your face? Fuck! I thought someone had messed up the JPG encoding or some shit.
What do you mean a HUMAN wrote your code? I though ChatGPT had fucked it up. Then a cat walked over the keyboard. In Cyrillic.
Yo' code so useless it could pass as PM feedback.
Yo' code so buggy that the military are using it as malware.
Yo' GUI so crappy that the DMV IS USING IT.
Yo' API so instable it could be the UK's govt.
Yo' classes so unreadable your company doesn't even obfuscate packages. -
@daniel-wu Dude, spreadsheets are just overgrown calculators that had a weird mix-in with word processors.
Spreadsheets don't really "understand" what's on them, and yet they totally rule your life.
So, yeah, ChatGPT produced text is basically just a throw of obnoxiously skewed dice.
And yet this shit can get you arrested.
It's quality might be overrated, but one cannot overestimate the impact tech like that will have in our world.
Imagine someone dumb tries to make some software that includes sorting an array. ChatGPT might give them an O(n^3) implementation of bubble sort, but if the user is powerful enough it might be sipped anyway.
And we will all lose our jobs to wasteful crapcode written by cheap noobs. -
Step 1) Bill them $$$ for your time
Step 2) Find a very specific kind of teenager
Step 3) Pay the teenager $ to do this shit while you go do some real work (hey, $ is a lot of money for someone who worries not about rent or food or bills or kids)
Step 4) Say you will have to do this again yearly to "correct for decay in the archived emails" -
@Oktokolo """
In A World Overrun By Bugs
Added Shabang To File Magic.sh
Fixed Typo In assets/shit/corn.css
Starring #FR.666 Implemented In File the.rock
Directed By PM OverpaidTool
Written By _da_wiz@rD_
From The Same Producers Of "Closed Ticket #1234",
*Closed Ticket #1235*
_Coming Soon To A PR Near You_
""" -
We once hired a consultant who called himself an "AWS Garbage man"
He spent a month or so going over our detailed billing data, our applications and our terraform templates before finding $$$ in unused but still billed services.
His work paid off before he was even done. -
continuing from the previous comments, that is precisely why in microeconomics addiction is considered "bad" instead of "an ever-expanding source of growth".
In macroeconomics, though... -
Ask for a raise. If they accept it, yay!
Buuuut, they may pretend to be insulted, in that case gou know you gotta GTFO. They may say there is no money in the budget, in that case you look for another job for those guys are toast and on life support.
Or they might ask why should you get a raise (noob question) and if after you tell them you are delivering much more than you used to they dare say "no you ain't!", they are stupid and you should look for another job.
The only way you can stay after realizing you are being undervalued is if they come with some pretty damn convincing arguments for why you should not be paid what you know you are worth.
Beware the bullshit that they might attempt to fool you with. -
they are "doing the excel", "cooking the books", "winging it" or any other euphemism for just telling their own bosses whatever they wanna hear.
Seriously, if you are paid by the month and some rich dumbass wants to hear that you will turn sand into gold using only CO2 capture by the end of the quarter, you tell him that.
Higher management will run after another shiny thing long before the time is up, anyway. -
@themissingbrace @peter68 oh, yeah, India is fucked up in the head too.
I just like remembering Europeans that this boot licking nonsense is right there in their own homes as well.
I guess the literary way of phrasing it is:
"for the lust about the smallest silver of power over another put even lower, is such that man will happily trade in a lifetime of servitude and subjugation past and future"
Or, in more practical and current terms, being able to "tell the poor souls down in Uttar Pradesh how I'm living like a king in this 9m^2 triple-shared broom closet IN LONDON" is worth being the company's bitch.
Humanity is fucked. -
You will still need some sort of alchemy machine that can transmutate common minerals into harder-to-obtain materials like lithium and phosphorous, and some automated fabrication facility to replace broken equipment.
Besides, fertilizers and farming equipment, animal medicine, greenhouse maintenance and the like are unavoidable.
That, of course, if you want to be really off the grid. A vehicle and some regular trips to comercial outposts could be an easier solution. -
That boot-licking thing actually has solid historical roots.
The entire caste system is based on "you should be glad to be the legs that sustain the head of our society, you filth-covered scum".
Enslaved people were told they should thank their captors for teaching them their "true" religion.
Fuck, even today peasants in the Netherlands are made to sing hymns in praise of some rich dead dudes before they can play football. They cal it "national anthem".
So sticking corporate religious symbols in laptops is just the current iteration of ring-kissing.
The kiddie stuff is just what is left to use as symbols. Real religion has too much baggage, adult themes like violence and sex and suffering and money and family remembers people that they have a life (and it might suck) and anything else is harder to explain or copyrighted.
That leaves advertise-friendly copyright-safe child symbolism.
Finally, investors and the like are *old* and still see computers as "kid's toys". Feed the illusion -
@pandasama Play this, it will give you some ideas: https://play.google.com/store/apps/...
But in short:
- Organize your income, assets and liabilities separately.
- Check your cash flow and make sure it's at least 20% of your essential monthly expenses
- Pay yourself first, invest a nice chunk of your free cash flow before doing anything else
- Pay your debts from the smallest to the largest
- Celebrate paying off debts and nice life milestones, but don't create new debts then. -
@azuredivay H1 is reasonable, but on a *private* account it could only be counting the OP's own views. Shoddy work to count the same person seeing the same tweet dozens of times in a couple hours. Those are not unique page views.
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AWS certification. You gonna need to wire up a looooot of services. Better to start studying up some data governance and modeling best practices.
Software engineering basics like class inheritance and API design would come in handy too.
Can you do networks? Or 5+ types of http auth? gonna need it.
Then it's time for Big Data architectures. try to learn some big boy spark from kaggle. -
@C0D4 dude, I want that tattooed on the back of my boss's hand. Maybe he will remember it then.
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@IntrusionCM H3 does seem plausible, but it would be incredibly misleading to count internal automated tools as page views. Those are internal, one could easily ignore.
But... yeah, it can be a deliberate attempt at propping up engagement metrics to flex at anxious marketing execs. -
@Demolishun that would most likely be the case for a public account, but can bots enter a private account?
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yeah, people have been complaining about automated art since forever. Heh, auto tune fucked up singing, shuffle mode screwed albuns, mp3 mucked bass, vynil records farted on live performers, digital photography ruined film photography that ruined painting...
Bah! a couple generations ago they said that pens instead of quills or something would destroy the art of calligraphy.
We get it, artists gonna art regardless of the tool and just because you have a tool it doesn't make you an artist.
Sure, having a microwave doesnt makes me a chef, but it does makes me some hot pockets and those are good enough when time is short.
So let AI take those lame ass dentist waiting room art spaces. No artist spends their career trying to get there anyway. -
@exerceo I might be wrong, but I would still imagine that manufacturing companies would use crappy step-up setups to increase tension in mobiles if it meant that they could use cheaper 5.3v components.
Naturally this is not the case for high-end devices, but cheap is what makes the world go 'round.
The economics of mediocrity are a bitch, and a tricky problem to solve. -
And then it all upgrades to the new LightOS CookedNoodella Mark-Z and only two bulbs in your whole house are compatible. But only for six months until service pack jbzOS is required. and then you are in the dark
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Entry level jobs in tech may be a political commodity.
My last two companies would only ever hire greenhorns from specific schools because they had deals with the schools themselves and local governments.
Schools will offer free consulting services and higher level training in exchange for getting their graduates some quick career ingress.
Local govts will even give tax incentives if you funnel they nerdy sixteen y.o.s into tech low level jobs.
It's no wonder that so few of those kids try for a tech career after a year or two. -
@uNrEaL-jAsE that thing used mostly by people who think "excel" is a database? Oh, then your fear of hyphens checks out. May sudo bring peace to your UID.
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Then:
"We need programmers to make us software so we can work so efficiently that we can fire low-level workers!"
Now:
"Oh, fuck! Programmers are gonna make all our mid-to-high level bullshit jobs obsolete! Quick, make up some reason to keep them from coding! Ruin their productivity at all costs!" -
"Power requirements are a gas, they will expand until occupying the entirety of the acceptable window"
Devices need only 4.3 volts because USB can offer only 5. If USB had been designed to work with 6, companies would make less efficient / cheaper devices that require 5.3 volts.
Same thing with cables, they would simply use cheaper, less efficient cooper and the higher voltage advantages would be lost again.
Good engineering solutions are always on the brink of being screwed over by poor financial decisions. -
@uNrEaL-jAsE DO YOU EVEN BASH, BRO? TRY AND COME AT ME WITHOUT HYPHENS!