The "backend developer" has to know everything.

That's it. No longer will I play rap music while I type my alert strings; I'm about to be fired.

Your app works.
You do some changes.
It doesn't work anymore...
You restore the old code.
It still doesn't work... WHY?

Boss: don't worry about the architecture, it's an one-off project, just make it work...

2 months later...

Boss: hey, remember that one-off project? we need to add in a few more features... Also can we reuse that code for this new one-off project we have to do for this new client?

My gf didnt laughed...

In my office I've made a habit of changing the desktop background of anyone who leaves thier workstation unlocked to My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic to encourage good data security.

It's working.

Manager: You can ask the Level 1 team in India to assist you, they can take take some load of you.
Me: *spends 30 minutes explaining a 5 minute job, several times, each day*
Manager, after noticing my stress: Really, just ask the Level 1 team to assist you!

#foreveralone 😓

Never trust printers.

Wrote this on a quote board at work after spending six hours trying to get one piece of software to work on Ubuntu.

Created an alias in BASH

alias fucking=sudo

Just so I can run "fucking apt-get update". Got so used to it I accidentally used it during a presentation. Now the cute interns think I'm awesome while the other devs think I'm an ass.

Knock, knock.
Race condition.
Who’s there.

"Jabba the Script" that's how my girlfriend calls JavaScript.