"The gap between theory and practice is not as wide in theory as it is in practice."

When your boss resigns, so you have to learn everything he knows in 2 weeks... 😰

A man flying in a hot air balloon suddenly realizes he’s lost. He reduces height and spots a man down below. He lowers the balloon further and shouts to get directions, "Excuse me, can you tell me where I am?"

The man below says: "Yes. You're in a hot air balloon, hovering 30 feet above this field."

"You must work in Information Technology," says the balloonist.

"I do" replies the man. "How did you know?"

"Well," says the balloonist, "everything you have told me is technically correct, but It's of no use to anyone."

The man below replies, "You must work in management."

"I do," replies the balloonist, "But how'd you know?"*

"Well", says the man, "you don’t know where you are or where you’re going, but you expect me to be able to help. You’re in the same position you were before we met, but now it’s my fault."

The scariest thing in programming is when something works when it shouldn't

Front end and vim

Make sense ...

You aint no dev son

Everyone always says the previous developer was crap, sometimes you're right

I hate programming.
I hate programming.
I hate programming.
IT WORKS!
I love programming.

When something works fine in dev environment vs. pushing it live 😡🔥

when I finally get my code to work, no matter how small, I get up and walk around feeling like a boss

I am all for implementing it

Senior dev says "it is a piece of cake and it can be done in 2 days", when a new feature is suggested and assigned to me.. but when it gets assigned to him : "This is a big feature and there are lot of things that we need to decide, it will take more than 3 weeks".

When rough estimates become hard deadlines... 👌

🤔 accurate?

Happens where I work 😂

My life hurts when I have to develop on someone else's computer and they use the "light-theme". #teamdarkside

We all know at least one...

Roses are red
Exceptions are blue
Empty catch blocks are going to hurt you!

try
{ somethingVeryDangerous() }
catch { // No Op
}
finally { SaveFile() }

When you go from staring at dark theme VS2013 to sql mgmnt studio all day and you now have a headache. Why doesn't ssms have a dark theme!?