Normal person: send nudes
Dev: send stickers

This is true.

A boy asked his bitcoin-investing dad for 1 bitcoin for his birthday.

Dad: What? $15,554??? $14,354 is a lot of money! What do you need $16,782 for anyway?

Source: Twitter @cryptomanran

Sometime around 2010 a colleague asked me to join him in developing mining rigs for some shit called “bitcoin”. I thought it was dumb as hell.

He’s a millionaire now.

GO HARD OR cd ~

EVERYTIME!!

Lol....this was only save her......

Oh shit. I found something better. Had to delete previous rant.

Google Assistant is actually being cheeky!

Me: I mend shoes

When a non-coworker stars your project on github.

Reading devRant feed is so fucking hard nowadays. Every other rant is about Windows rebooting, Google being evil, Quantum beating Chrome, M$ users being cunts and all these fanboy shits.

Fucking hell. Write some actual code and rant about some solid problems rather than being a stupid fanboy.

Dad is also a dev/architect. Mom barely knows how facebook works. So essentially she thinks I'm either playing games or working hard. Dad knows I'm just playing games.

Manager: 'Please remove this checkbox from that page.'

Me: 'Sure thing, it was stupid anyway. Just gimme a couple of minutes.'

Legacy code: 'LOL the checkbox is wired to everything else and if you simply remove it the backend will shit itself. There is several hundred lines of inline Javascript in the HTML template with some Thymeleaf stuff managing the form data or just are there to make the code less readable. The controller for the page is a bit more than a thousand lines of spaghetti, no easy way to find where is that specific data necessary and where can be easily removed. Class variables declared between methods, dozens of nested if statements checking shit in every method and the data is passed through like half a dozen other classes. Good luck with that!'

Me: '💩.'

Why THE FUCK does the StackOverflow Community answer any JS related question with a solution containing jQuery - sometimes even without mentioning it?

Gosh - it's 2017 use Vanilla or at least a modern libary!

"Amazon EC2 now offers Microsoft SQL Server 2017 with Red Hat Enterprise Linux 7.4"

To understand what recursion is, you must first understand recursion.

git blame

Ah, my first issue!

When you start reading someone else's code and all you do is properly indent for the first 30 mins so you can actually read it.

Stuck on a problem for 2 hours, walk away for a coffee, return to fix it in 2 mins.

Should take breaks every 5 mins to maximize productivity.

That awkward moment when your shower has a better commit streak than you.

Well, at least there are no errors...

Spend half an hour finding music to listen to while I code; Pause it after 30 seconds to concentrate on refactoring. Stays paused for rest of day.

Really getting the most out of those expensive new headphones.

group projects suck! I do all the coding someone makes a report and takes all credit😟

I think we all agree here... My standing desk wins... 😂

This is brilliant 😂😂

CTO wants all variables in file to be same length. You cant have "start" and "stop". You must have "start" and "cease".

How did the Stack Overflow developers debug their code?!? :O

that feeling

New the Instagram logo looked really familiar!

Least the app itself is cleaner.